Our bipolar son is getting out of the hospital in another town 3 hours away today. We had decided that we didn't want him to live with us for our own mental well being and I have been trying to come to terms with it. I've gotten strength from many of the posts here. However, a lady from our local NAMI group called me and as we were talking she in so many words said that we as parents are the only help our kids have now that there aren't state hospitals and such for the mentally ill and that she had accepted that it is what she will do for the rest of her life. Am I a horrible selfish mother to not want to live every day I have left caring for my mentally ill son? I felt that way when I hung up. I feel so torn, there is no good solution. If we leave him in the town where he is now he will soon be homeless in addition to mentally ill and most likely will stop his medications/treatment. If we let him come home for a month to try to help him get his medications regulated and get a job and place of his own, then I lose the peace in my home and there is no guarantee that this time will be any different than the other times we've let him come home to "get on his feet". He is a hard person to deal with, feels that this is as much his house as ours and that we have no right to expect him to respect rules or boundaries here. I read in a post that enabling is doing for our adult child what they should do for themselves, and I agree, but a voice in my head says "but he can't do it for himself when he is mentally ill and not getting treatment." I feel such hopelessness today.