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Parent Emeritus
Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 728807" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RE, you are one of my best teachers and so kind. I feel the empath in you as a HSP. I cant thank you enough for this real gift of finally understanding. I always wondered how my DNA could not know they were sick too.</p><p></p><p>I do think you and I are lucky that we were different, you because you were not mentally ill and could see and me because I was mentally ill and could see. We had hard times but in the end our understanding won...and both of us were able to love in spite of our hard times. I think my mom, my sis, my uncle and even my brother unable to find real love. My uncle married late in life, no kids, I wonder if he loved her or just needed her. He married after his mother passed and he was abnormally attached to her at 45.</p><p></p><p> Both Sis and Uncle were terrified to be alone yet neither were good at getting emotionally close to others. Maybe that is why my sister favors an abusive man who can't love her...she claims it is too hard to cut him off. My mom got involved with a cheater in her older years, but she was less needy of a partner.</p><p></p><p>What a mentally ill mess. And I had to struggle with a mood disorder too, but I will forever be glad that I knew.</p><p></p><p>Thank you again. I truly think I get it now. You are the best, RE. I bet you still love your family. I forgive mine all, especially now that I realize they all lacked insight into being sick. I even forgive my sister. I do not think she knows how demented it was to use the police for a call or email she could have just ignored. Or how loving an abuser is not normal. Or how cutting a sister off ten times but always coming back is sick. In her mind nodoubt she acted normal and I deserved it all. So I forgive her, but I can't risk ever speaking to her again because I need her to understand how wrong three decades of cop calling was or she will do it again and I am 64 and done with that. I will sadly need to take out a restraining order if she ever contacts me again. With Dad in spirit, there is no need for us to ever speak again.</p><p></p><p>Did I ever act mentally ill? Yes, under pressure. I AM mentally I'll. But I know when I was wrong. My sister does not. I can't deal with cops and abusive boyfriend again...I am Codependent and want her to leave him forever and she never will and I can't control it and I also don't need to listen to it and I am babbling to much and thanks again <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> have a peaceful night. Time for a nice meditation to calm my soul. Good night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 728807, member: 1550"] RE, you are one of my best teachers and so kind. I feel the empath in you as a HSP. I cant thank you enough for this real gift of finally understanding. I always wondered how my DNA could not know they were sick too. I do think you and I are lucky that we were different, you because you were not mentally ill and could see and me because I was mentally ill and could see. We had hard times but in the end our understanding won...and both of us were able to love in spite of our hard times. I think my mom, my sis, my uncle and even my brother unable to find real love. My uncle married late in life, no kids, I wonder if he loved her or just needed her. He married after his mother passed and he was abnormally attached to her at 45. Both Sis and Uncle were terrified to be alone yet neither were good at getting emotionally close to others. Maybe that is why my sister favors an abusive man who can't love her...she claims it is too hard to cut him off. My mom got involved with a cheater in her older years, but she was less needy of a partner. What a mentally ill mess. And I had to struggle with a mood disorder too, but I will forever be glad that I knew. Thank you again. I truly think I get it now. You are the best, RE. I bet you still love your family. I forgive mine all, especially now that I realize they all lacked insight into being sick. I even forgive my sister. I do not think she knows how demented it was to use the police for a call or email she could have just ignored. Or how loving an abuser is not normal. Or how cutting a sister off ten times but always coming back is sick. In her mind nodoubt she acted normal and I deserved it all. So I forgive her, but I can't risk ever speaking to her again because I need her to understand how wrong three decades of cop calling was or she will do it again and I am 64 and done with that. I will sadly need to take out a restraining order if she ever contacts me again. With Dad in spirit, there is no need for us to ever speak again. Did I ever act mentally ill? Yes, under pressure. I AM mentally I'll. But I know when I was wrong. My sister does not. I can't deal with cops and abusive boyfriend again...I am Codependent and want her to leave him forever and she never will and I can't control it and I also don't need to listen to it and I am babbling to much and thanks again :) have a peaceful night. Time for a nice meditation to calm my soul. Good night. [/QUOTE]
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