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feeling very overwhelmed and depressed
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 107214" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Lost, </p><p></p><p> I am urging you once again to call a local womens shelter and seek some advice. You are going to need a safety plan. </p><p></p><p>SAFETY DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT</p><p></p><p>1.) If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or any where near weapons. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best. </p><p></p><p>3.) Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly. Find out what things you will need to put in this bag so you don't ever have to go back to the home. Birth certificates, social security cards, bank books, check books, jewelry, Medicaid cards, etc. </p><p></p><p>4.) Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. Don't worry about the person that chronically says "we don't want the police involved." Ignore such statements.</p><p></p><p>5.) Devise a code word to be used with your children, friends, family, and neighbors when you need the police or know the situation is going to get out of control. </p><p></p><p>6.) Decide and plan where you will go/hide if you had to leave home. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT THINK YOU NEED THAT NOW. </p><p></p><p>7.) Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving what the abuser wants to calm him down (yes that means what you think). You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger. </p><p></p><p>ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED</p><p></p><p>B. THE FUTURE</p><p></p><p>1.) Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increas your independence. Think of other ways you can increase your independence. </p><p></p><p>2.) Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can get out and leave quickly. </p><p></p><p>3.) Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money. Don't disclose this to ANYONE but that person. </p><p></p><p>4.) Keep the shelter phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you for emergency phone calls. </p><p></p><p>5.) Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. REMEMBER - </p><p></p><p>LEAVING YOUR BATTERER IS TEH MOST DANGEROUS TIME!!!!!!! </p><p>In their minds you are their property, you belong to them and they will stop at nothing to get your back or harm, even kill you. </p><p></p><p>Plan to attend a women's or victim's support group for at least 2 weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 107214, member: 4964"] Lost, I am urging you once again to call a local womens shelter and seek some advice. You are going to need a safety plan. SAFETY DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT 1.) If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or any where near weapons. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best. 3.) Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly. Find out what things you will need to put in this bag so you don't ever have to go back to the home. Birth certificates, social security cards, bank books, check books, jewelry, Medicaid cards, etc. 4.) Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. Don't worry about the person that chronically says "we don't want the police involved." Ignore such statements. 5.) Devise a code word to be used with your children, friends, family, and neighbors when you need the police or know the situation is going to get out of control. 6.) Decide and plan where you will go/hide if you had to leave home. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT THINK YOU NEED THAT NOW. 7.) Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving what the abuser wants to calm him down (yes that means what you think). You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger. ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED B. THE FUTURE 1.) Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increas your independence. Think of other ways you can increase your independence. 2.) Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can get out and leave quickly. 3.) Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money. Don't disclose this to ANYONE but that person. 4.) Keep the shelter phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you for emergency phone calls. 5.) Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. REMEMBER - LEAVING YOUR BATTERER IS TEH MOST DANGEROUS TIME!!!!!!! In their minds you are their property, you belong to them and they will stop at nothing to get your back or harm, even kill you. Plan to attend a women's or victim's support group for at least 2 weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship. [/QUOTE]
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