Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
feeling very overwhelmed and depressed
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 107220" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>WHY SHE STAYS......</p><p></p><p>Women who stay in a violent relationship or go back several times after trying to leave undergo gradual steps of reasoning to reconcile the violence in their minds. The reason she stays may change as the violence in the relationship progresses. </p><p></p><p>At first, she stays because: </p><p>-she loves him</p><p>-she believes he'll grow up or change</p><p>-she believes she can control the beatings by doing as he says, cleaning the house, keeping the children quiet, having a dinner on time, etc. </p><p>-she believes she can convince him that she loves him (and end his jealousy)</p><p>-she believes it is her duty to make the relationship work</p><p>-she believes she can reason with him</p><p>-she believes him when he says he's sorry and won't do it again</p><p>-she's embarrassed for him and herself, she seldom seeks help believing she can do it on her own. </p><p>-she's afraid of what will happen if the police get involved. </p><p></p><p>Later, she stays because:</p><p>-she loves him, but less</p><p>-she hopes he'll change or get help</p><p>-she's under pressure from family (his or hers) & friends to stay</p><p>-she believes he loes and needs her</p><p>-she's afraid to be alone</p><p>-she believes she can't support herself</p><p>-she believes his promises that he'll change and they'll start living the life she dreams of, he promises to get counseling, go to rehab, that he'll stop abusing drugs or alcohol (See myths above) </p><p>-she is confused</p><p>-she is increasingly afraid of her partner's violence and my see lethality in his out-of-control behaviors </p><p></p><p>Finally, she stays because:</p><p>-fear: he has become tremendously powerful in her eyes</p><p>-he threatens to kill her or the children, her family or pets</p><p>-she has developed low self-esteem (NOT self confidence) </p><p>-she believes no one can love her</p><p>-she believes she can't survive alone</p><p>-she is very confused and feels guilty: "he cares, he beats me, I must be bad I must deserve this, I don't know why." </p><p>-she believes she has no control over her life</p><p>-she feels hopeless and helpless</p><p>-she believes she has no options</p><p>-she has developed serious emotional or physical problems</p><p>-she becomes suicidal and homicidal</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 107220, member: 4964"] WHY SHE STAYS...... Women who stay in a violent relationship or go back several times after trying to leave undergo gradual steps of reasoning to reconcile the violence in their minds. The reason she stays may change as the violence in the relationship progresses. At first, she stays because: -she loves him -she believes he'll grow up or change -she believes she can control the beatings by doing as he says, cleaning the house, keeping the children quiet, having a dinner on time, etc. -she believes she can convince him that she loves him (and end his jealousy) -she believes it is her duty to make the relationship work -she believes she can reason with him -she believes him when he says he's sorry and won't do it again -she's embarrassed for him and herself, she seldom seeks help believing she can do it on her own. -she's afraid of what will happen if the police get involved. Later, she stays because: -she loves him, but less -she hopes he'll change or get help -she's under pressure from family (his or hers) & friends to stay -she believes he loes and needs her -she's afraid to be alone -she believes she can't support herself -she believes his promises that he'll change and they'll start living the life she dreams of, he promises to get counseling, go to rehab, that he'll stop abusing drugs or alcohol (See myths above) -she is confused -she is increasingly afraid of her partner's violence and my see lethality in his out-of-control behaviors Finally, she stays because: -fear: he has become tremendously powerful in her eyes -he threatens to kill her or the children, her family or pets -she has developed low self-esteem (NOT self confidence) -she believes no one can love her -she believes she can't survive alone -she is very confused and feels guilty: "he cares, he beats me, I must be bad I must deserve this, I don't know why." -she believes she has no control over her life -she feels hopeless and helpless -she believes she has no options -she has developed serious emotional or physical problems -she becomes suicidal and homicidal [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
feeling very overwhelmed and depressed
Top