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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 415086" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>I think this is just part of their transition to adulthood. My kid's been off the grid for over a week now. I finally checked his facebook last night just to make sure he was alive - he's leaving msgs so ... he's somewhere.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but I make a conscious effort not to contact him unless there's a specific reason. I don't want to be the hovering mother. I am quite certain I *don't* want to know what he's doing - if something good (like a job!) happened, he would call or come over. I guess after going through a couple of years of imagining what he's doing, and making myself sick over it, I got cured of it. It's an exercise in futility. I can't control his choices, I can't change his behaviors. Like Janet said, he's going to do things the hard way. In thank you's case, if it's not hard enough by itself, he'll figure out a way to make it harder (the old go around the hoop instead of thru it). </p><p></p><p>Your son has to figure out how to live his life. It's incredibly tough watching them muddle thru it, especially when it really doesn't have to be so hard, but ... hey, if they listened to us even a little bit, we wouldn't be here, right? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Try to relax. Do *your* thing. </p><p></p><p>This detaching stuff will get a bit... well, if not easier, it at least becomes habit. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 415086, member: 8"] I think this is just part of their transition to adulthood. My kid's been off the grid for over a week now. I finally checked his facebook last night just to make sure he was alive - he's leaving msgs so ... he's somewhere. I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but I make a conscious effort not to contact him unless there's a specific reason. I don't want to be the hovering mother. I am quite certain I *don't* want to know what he's doing - if something good (like a job!) happened, he would call or come over. I guess after going through a couple of years of imagining what he's doing, and making myself sick over it, I got cured of it. It's an exercise in futility. I can't control his choices, I can't change his behaviors. Like Janet said, he's going to do things the hard way. In thank you's case, if it's not hard enough by itself, he'll figure out a way to make it harder (the old go around the hoop instead of thru it). Your son has to figure out how to live his life. It's incredibly tough watching them muddle thru it, especially when it really doesn't have to be so hard, but ... hey, if they listened to us even a little bit, we wouldn't be here, right? :winking: Try to relax. Do *your* thing. This detaching stuff will get a bit... well, if not easier, it at least becomes habit. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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