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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents - Would you adopt again?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 448095" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have adopted four kids. One was out of foster care and has special needs.</p><p></p><p>In MY situation, my son is going to need help as an adult. He is going to turn 18 in a month and then the fun begins, geting guardianship and making sure he gets an appropriate job and housing and services for as long as he needs them. Since he dodged the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) bullet (trust me, this is NOT due to his birthmother) t here may come the day when he can live alone, but it will be at a much older age and he will still need a caseworker peaking in on him. For ME, I am seeing the end of raising a child who has been damaged by drugs/alcohol in utero. I worry about him a lot. I would not want to adopt a c hild again unless I could be 100% assured that I won't have to worry about these adult issues ever again. One of my children (bless his heart) has said he would be Sonic's guardian when we are gone. I can not ask my other kids to take care of two of them. </p><p></p><p>You have to do what you feel is right, but look to the future. The chances that anyone with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is going to be self-sufficient AND successful that way is extremely unlikely. If you adopt through the state, the child profiles are often so wrong as to be useless. If you adopt privately and strike up a good rapport with the birthmother you have a better shot of knowing if your baby will grow up to be self-sufficient (this happened with Jumper's birthmother and Jumper IS a great kid who will be self-sufficient). If you adopt overseas, there is also that alcohol spectrum risk, espescially if you choose Eastern Europe.</p><p></p><p>Think future. It comes sooner rather than later and decide what you can handle, what your family can handle, and what your alternatives are if the child grows up to need ongoing help even after you are gone (this is just my advice...you can actually do what you like <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) </p><p></p><p>Adopted kids have a much higher rate of different disorders and issues.</p><p></p><p>If all this is cool with you...go for it! If not, best to wait for that biological clock to calm down. You can always wait and see how your difficult child is doing as he nears adulthood. Your child is only eight. Wait until he is sixteen or seventeen (my .02 only).</p><p></p><p>Take care and let us know what you've decided. Hey, we care <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 448095, member: 1550"] I have adopted four kids. One was out of foster care and has special needs. In MY situation, my son is going to need help as an adult. He is going to turn 18 in a month and then the fun begins, geting guardianship and making sure he gets an appropriate job and housing and services for as long as he needs them. Since he dodged the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) bullet (trust me, this is NOT due to his birthmother) t here may come the day when he can live alone, but it will be at a much older age and he will still need a caseworker peaking in on him. For ME, I am seeing the end of raising a child who has been damaged by drugs/alcohol in utero. I worry about him a lot. I would not want to adopt a c hild again unless I could be 100% assured that I won't have to worry about these adult issues ever again. One of my children (bless his heart) has said he would be Sonic's guardian when we are gone. I can not ask my other kids to take care of two of them. You have to do what you feel is right, but look to the future. The chances that anyone with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is going to be self-sufficient AND successful that way is extremely unlikely. If you adopt through the state, the child profiles are often so wrong as to be useless. If you adopt privately and strike up a good rapport with the birthmother you have a better shot of knowing if your baby will grow up to be self-sufficient (this happened with Jumper's birthmother and Jumper IS a great kid who will be self-sufficient). If you adopt overseas, there is also that alcohol spectrum risk, espescially if you choose Eastern Europe. Think future. It comes sooner rather than later and decide what you can handle, what your family can handle, and what your alternatives are if the child grows up to need ongoing help even after you are gone (this is just my advice...you can actually do what you like :) ) Adopted kids have a much higher rate of different disorders and issues. If all this is cool with you...go for it! If not, best to wait for that biological clock to calm down. You can always wait and see how your difficult child is doing as he nears adulthood. Your child is only eight. Wait until he is sixteen or seventeen (my .02 only). Take care and let us know what you've decided. Hey, we care :)! [/QUOTE]
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