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General Parenting
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents - Would you adopt again?
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<blockquote data-quote="BeachPeace" data-source="post: 448432"><p>Wow. You guys are incredible. </p><p></p><p>Biological clock? That is an idea that for some reason had not occured to me is likely lingering in my Subconscious - probably very true since I am mid-thirties. </p><p>Also the comments about the energy and intensity and the future planning - those feeling resonate deep. Midwest Mama was right too - Blue will need lifelong assistance. Very overwhelming at times and could I ask my sister to be willing to take "another" child in the event that something happen to us.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe these thoughts are more of a grieving process..... the fantasy idea that by adopting again I could do it without the struggle - the guarantee that there would be no brain damage, no FASD, no attachment problems....... the sheer overwhelming intensity. </p><p></p><p>Parenting for many of us did not turn out like we had planned.... is that fair? no. not to us and certainly not to our children. You guys make me feel normal with the guilty feelings that somehow I have "failed the motherhood test" by having kids like mine. That I have failed my family by wanting a second child that has ended up being a lifelong, intense, difficult challenge. To feel envious of people who don't have to give tons of dangerous medications just to have a child that does not rage into psychosis. To wish that I did not have to lock the pantry and deadbolt the front door. </p><p></p><p>Maybe I don't want another child. Maybe I just want another chance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BeachPeace, post: 448432"] Wow. You guys are incredible. Biological clock? That is an idea that for some reason had not occured to me is likely lingering in my Subconscious - probably very true since I am mid-thirties. Also the comments about the energy and intensity and the future planning - those feeling resonate deep. Midwest Mama was right too - Blue will need lifelong assistance. Very overwhelming at times and could I ask my sister to be willing to take "another" child in the event that something happen to us. Maybe these thoughts are more of a grieving process..... the fantasy idea that by adopting again I could do it without the struggle - the guarantee that there would be no brain damage, no FASD, no attachment problems....... the sheer overwhelming intensity. Parenting for many of us did not turn out like we had planned.... is that fair? no. not to us and certainly not to our children. You guys make me feel normal with the guilty feelings that somehow I have "failed the motherhood test" by having kids like mine. That I have failed my family by wanting a second child that has ended up being a lifelong, intense, difficult challenge. To feel envious of people who don't have to give tons of dangerous medications just to have a child that does not rage into psychosis. To wish that I did not have to lock the pantry and deadbolt the front door. Maybe I don't want another child. Maybe I just want another chance. [/QUOTE]
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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents - Would you adopt again?
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