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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents - Would you adopt again?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 535067" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi CopingwithRad, Welcome. It was cool to see this thread pop up again. I read my response and thought, wow even in the last few months....I might say no. I think I need a little time to recover, puberty is kicking my butt. I find myself thinking it might be fun to live in an old folks home (LOL). I mean, who WANTS to live in a senior citizens complex? </p><p></p><p>Malika, I think it is true when you just want a child so much you move forward pretty intently. I DID do a lot of research and was even part of a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/Adoption discussion board where I ran referrals past them. They were great and I can't find the forum anymore...I suspect they have morphed their name etc. so I can't find them. But I really did honestly at least say to myself, can I love a child who may not be able to love me??? I think I prepared myself emotionally for that. But having experienced a lot of rejection from him, I can say it is obviously easier said than done. If he never showed any attachment I might not have made it. I treasure that he does genuinely hug me, thank me, say I am the best mom ever, say he always wants to live with me, tells me his secrets...even if it is not at the same level as other kids. MOST of the time I am in his way, the reason he can't do things or something happened to him, etc. The target for any upset. Some days are rough to say the least. I still have no regrets. I love my kid beyond words. I still would take on other kids....but what I am more experienced working with outside of his needs....physically impaired kids, daughter, etc. (but never know...so it is always a risk, just like Q there can be a multitude of diagnosis).</p><p></p><p>CWR, (copingwithrad), I hope you start a thread on your own. Would be great to learn of your situation and walk through the next years with you. TRUST me when I say this....you are not alone. I just spent a day at the zoo with one of our board members who is in (age wise) a very similar position with RADish twins. One at home, one placed out of the home...looking toward the finishing line. </p><p></p><p>She is moving to this forum (but of course we can post anywhere, I mean symbolically her kids are hitting 18 now)....Really an amazing woman. Hope she sees your post.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 535067, member: 12886"] Hi CopingwithRad, Welcome. It was cool to see this thread pop up again. I read my response and thought, wow even in the last few months....I might say no. I think I need a little time to recover, puberty is kicking my butt. I find myself thinking it might be fun to live in an old folks home (LOL). I mean, who WANTS to live in a senior citizens complex? Malika, I think it is true when you just want a child so much you move forward pretty intently. I DID do a lot of research and was even part of a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/Adoption discussion board where I ran referrals past them. They were great and I can't find the forum anymore...I suspect they have morphed their name etc. so I can't find them. But I really did honestly at least say to myself, can I love a child who may not be able to love me??? I think I prepared myself emotionally for that. But having experienced a lot of rejection from him, I can say it is obviously easier said than done. If he never showed any attachment I might not have made it. I treasure that he does genuinely hug me, thank me, say I am the best mom ever, say he always wants to live with me, tells me his secrets...even if it is not at the same level as other kids. MOST of the time I am in his way, the reason he can't do things or something happened to him, etc. The target for any upset. Some days are rough to say the least. I still have no regrets. I love my kid beyond words. I still would take on other kids....but what I am more experienced working with outside of his needs....physically impaired kids, daughter, etc. (but never know...so it is always a risk, just like Q there can be a multitude of diagnosis). CWR, (copingwithrad), I hope you start a thread on your own. Would be great to learn of your situation and walk through the next years with you. TRUST me when I say this....you are not alone. I just spent a day at the zoo with one of our board members who is in (age wise) a very similar position with RADish twins. One at home, one placed out of the home...looking toward the finishing line. She is moving to this forum (but of course we can post anywhere, I mean symbolically her kids are hitting 18 now)....Really an amazing woman. Hope she sees your post. [/QUOTE]
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