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Substance Abuse
Finally at Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 76305" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi,</p><p>my dtr went to her first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when she just a week shy of 16--it was a couple thousand miles away, across the country. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) did not allow us to talk by phone for the 1st 2 weeks so I couldn't talk to her on her birthday but I could send letters whenever I wanted to. She was able to call home twice a week for 10 min. conversations and then we had weekly family therapy on the phone. We visited her twice while she was there but waited 3 months before our first visit.</p><p></p><p>I think it was important for her to know we cared but that our lives had not come to a standstill just because she was away. We tried to make it clear that she had a job to do while there and she would not be coming home til she had done it. This was a lockdown facility so after a couple of months of her trying to manipulate her way out of there she realized she was going to have to do the program.</p><p></p><p>She relapsed after leaving this program--could not handle the "real" world. But I think she now is using the tools she learned there. She learned how it felt to be confident and to be in charge of herself--she learned a bunch of healthy things.</p><p></p><p>You are on the right track--keeping it low-key, not babying him. Express confidence in him--you know he can do this, but just be matter of fact and neutral. I felt I was playing a role--my dtr would call and just cry on the phone and my heart would be breaking but I would just stay neutral and tell her she could do it. I am so glad those days are over! </p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 76305, member: 3450"] Hi, my dtr went to her first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when she just a week shy of 16--it was a couple thousand miles away, across the country. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) did not allow us to talk by phone for the 1st 2 weeks so I couldn't talk to her on her birthday but I could send letters whenever I wanted to. She was able to call home twice a week for 10 min. conversations and then we had weekly family therapy on the phone. We visited her twice while she was there but waited 3 months before our first visit. I think it was important for her to know we cared but that our lives had not come to a standstill just because she was away. We tried to make it clear that she had a job to do while there and she would not be coming home til she had done it. This was a lockdown facility so after a couple of months of her trying to manipulate her way out of there she realized she was going to have to do the program. She relapsed after leaving this program--could not handle the "real" world. But I think she now is using the tools she learned there. She learned how it felt to be confident and to be in charge of herself--she learned a bunch of healthy things. You are on the right track--keeping it low-key, not babying him. Express confidence in him--you know he can do this, but just be matter of fact and neutral. I felt I was playing a role--my dtr would call and just cry on the phone and my heart would be breaking but I would just stay neutral and tell her she could do it. I am so glad those days are over! Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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