FIRST FAMILY DINNER SINCE difficult child WAS RELEASED

[rejectedmom]

It is about to happen in a half hour. I am a bit nervous as this is the first his siblings have seen of him in almost two years. And the grand children will be here too. I cooked a rost and made everyone's favorite side dishes. Say a prayer that all goes well. If it does my daughter will let difficult child come to her daughter's birthday party next weekend and see some of the extended family. -RM

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

God bless this family as they try to reconnect. Bless this supper, and may it be a new beginning for them all.

Please don't get your expectations too high. Just relax and enjoy eachother's company.

I am glad you posted; I had been thinking about you. :wink:

 

[Sunlight]

I remember bringing ant to the family christmas eve almost 2 yrs ago, he hadnt seen them in a long time. he walked in the door and people stood in line to hug him. (I have a huge immediate family..lol)
all will go well. as long as your son is doing the right thing only good can come of it. Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive...

 

[DDD]

Sending good thoughts your way. DDD

 

[meowbunny]

Hope all went well and everyone had a super time.

 

[Suz]

I hope it went well enough that you are smiling, RM.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[rejectedmom]

Dinner went very well the only thing that went wrong were that the rolls husband bought at the store yesterday were moldy. they were promptly switched out for bread once discovered. Thank the good Lord it was only my family at the table. They all took it in stride. They will be returned to the store tomorrow for a refund. I'm going to give that job to husband. LOL!!!

difficult child was happy and well behaved and even checked in with his sponsor while here. He cried when he first got here and again when he hugged his sister. I was very proud of all my children and their spouses. Although they all had reservations they were welcoming and interacted well. The Grand children were thrilled to have their uncle back. They haven't seen him for almost two years.

After everyone went home and difficult child was waiting to leave he turned to me and said "Well that was heartwarming." He is looking forward to my grand daughter's birthday party next weekend but that one will be harder for him because there will be beer around. I guess husband and I will have to keep our eyes and ears open. difficult child is only about one week sober now. He had that slip up so we are back to counting from one again.

difficult child did mention that he doesn't have enough clothes to get him through the week so husband took him up to the attic to see if there was anything left in the boxes we stored there that difficult child could still use. I guess they took a few things and difficult child's boom box radio CD player. I admit I was not thrilled about that and wish husband had consulted me before allowing difficult child to take electronics to the grop home so soon. difficult child has sold his things for drugs in the past. But it is done and I can only pray that difficult child doesn't slip back into that behavior. It is out of my hands. Hopefully having his family back will be enough to prevent difficult child from going back down that road. Only time will tell. Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. This has been a long hard road and We are not near the end of it yet. You all have done much to lighten my burden. May God Bless you and keep you. -RM

 

[Kathy813]

I'm so glad that it went well!

Sounds like difficult child is making a real effort. :bravo:

~Kathy

 

[meowbunny]

It's a good start RM. Let's hope he can keep it going. Hope next weekend is fun for all.

Hope husband manages to return the rolls without too much trouble.

 

[witzend]

That sounds really nice, RM. I will keep my fingers crossed for everyone for next weekend.

 

[KFld]

That is wonderful. I'm so glad it all went well. If the worst thing that happened was moldy rolls, then I'd say don't cry over moldy rolls :smile:

Just make sure you don't spend the entire party babysitting him and watching that he doesn't drink. This is his battle to fight and you have learned you cannot do it for him. I know he really wants to go to the party, but you could also suggest that if he thinks it's going to be to much for him, it would be o.k. for him not to go and celebrate her birthday with her at a different location at a different time. Or maybe even better, suggest he discuss his anxiety about beer being at the party with his sponsor, which if he's serious about his recovery, you won't have to tell him that, he'll have already done it.

I know how scarey it is in the beginning. My difficult child is now over one year clean and it's just been recently that I know he has changed his life and I don't have that worry in the back of my head everyday. Everybody used to always tell me that I would know when he was ready to stay clean and now I know what they meant. Hope that day comes for all of you also.

Glad the family embraced him and his heart felt it. I'm sure he was very nervous.

 

[standswithcourage]

I think that is a wonderful start! I look forward to something like that happening in my family!

 

[rejectedmom]

Karen, I am sure he was nervous. He said he cannot wait to go to the party next weekend so I am not going to suggest he doesn't. We have a family wedding to attend in November. It is my sister's son and she really wants difficult child to go. husband and I discussed it and we think it is to soon so we haven't told difficult child about it. It is out of state and we would have to pay for his trip and hotel which is expensive. In addition my easy child 2 is comming and he and difficult child do not get along. The last time we traveled to a family event with the two of them it was a disaster with them getting into a fist fight at the Space Center. A stranger had to help husband seperate them. Of course difficult child was drgging back then but husband says he isn't willing to take a chance at a repeat. He was in tears when he got back to the hotel the last time and I will not try to change his mind this time. There will be other family gatherings in the future and then we will know how well difficult child is doing and whether or not he can resist the temptation to drink when surrounded by it.

Next weekend will be a more controlled environment than the wedding will be. My daughter will keep the beer in a very conspicuous place that difficult child will not be able to sneak any from. There will also be a recovered alcholic from my daughter's inlaw family there for difficult child to talk to if he should need to. so I think it will be OK. Son n law asked me if he should not serve the beer at all and I left it up to him. He may still decide not to but I thin it will be Ok eitheer way. But the wedding I think is too much temptation for someone so recently into trying to recover. -RM

 

[rejectedmom]

Stands, I too hope that you see some big changes in the near future.

Witz & Meowbunny, thanks for your good vibes for next weekend.

BBK, Suz, Janet, Meowbunny, DDD & Kathy, Thank yu all for your good thoughts and prayers. As always they are greatly appreciated. -RM

 

[busywend]

RM, I am glad to see that the dinner went well. Heart warming is a good feeling for him. It is nice to see he could describe it and recognize it.

Good luck next weekend!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

RM,

I agree with you that he is not ready to attend a wedding where there is alcohol. in my humble opinion, he may not be ready for a family gathering where there is alcohol, either, but that is JMHO.

I don't believe that he would slip there. I believe that he may see others drinking casually (without it causing a problem) and it may get in his head that "see, I can do that" and somewhere down the road he may slip. The relapse happens to the addict long before they pick up that drink.

If he does attend that party, make sure he has a quick and easy way to leave.

 

[rejectedmom]

Will do BBK

 

[WhymeMom?]

I'm with BBK on this one.....If he sees the alcohol it brings back old urges, whether they are acted on that day or a week from that day know that it will stir the addiction....Just my two cents, but I wouldn't take him anywhere there was alcohol until he has more sobriety under his belt....

:scared: :faint: :rolleyes:

 

[Marcie Mac]

Will be keeping my fingers crossed that this is the final turn around for him.

Marcie

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks for the advice WMM, After being away from his siblings for so long I cannot go back on my agreement to bring him to the party now. I will stay close and offer to leave if he should need to. i will also ask my daughter to reconsider serving beer but I'm not sure if her husband will go along. It is their party afterall. I can only make suggestions.

Marcie, thanks for the good thoughts. Hope springs eternal. -RM