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Substance Abuse
First family therapy session a disaster!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 50611" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Just a warning. You need to have some very concrete plans in place for when he gets home. Will he be allowed to see his former friends? If he's not in school, will he have to work and, if so, full time or part time? </p><p></p><p>I know you don't want to think this but the reality is your son is not a typical teen. He was arrested for drug use. He was court ordered into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Rather than trying to follow the rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he tried to skirt around them. Few kids get arrested for drug use (yes, many experiment but your son was doing more than experimenting). Fewer still get to enjoy the comforts of juvie and an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Most who get to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at least try to work the program -- at least those who have a family behind them.</p><p></p><p>I understand you have a list of wants and like tos, but you really need more than that. You need to be more definite. What exactly does it mean to respect his family, his home, himself? Playing it one day at a time is asking for trouble. </p><p></p><p>Your son will think he can go back to old habits. You will have no definite plan of attack if he does. He is almost an adult and it is time he started shouldering some true responsibility. He threw his playtime away. </p><p></p><p>If he wants to go to college, I would make it with the proviso that he has to maintain a certain grade point average. If he doesn't go to school, I would require him to get a job -- not working with dad but a job where he has to interview and see what kind of a job a high school grad can get -- and pay a nominal amount of rent. (You can put his rent money in a special account to give to him when he is ready to move out on his own.) As to driving, I would make the use of a car fairly restrictive when he first gets home. Make sure his is not just using it to hang out, especially not with the friends he did drugs with.</p><p></p><p>You also need to decide now what you will do if he doesn't follow the rules of the house and be sure you can stick with whatever consequences you and your husband deem appropriate.</p><p></p><p>I apologize for sounding harsh but there are some realities you need to face. Hopefully, his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will help you with specific goals, suggestions, etc. If they don't offer, I'd suggest you ask for their help. You truly can't play it loose. Your son is too vulnerable when he gets home to not have set guidelines.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 50611, member: 3626"] Just a warning. You need to have some very concrete plans in place for when he gets home. Will he be allowed to see his former friends? If he's not in school, will he have to work and, if so, full time or part time? I know you don't want to think this but the reality is your son is not a typical teen. He was arrested for drug use. He was court ordered into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Rather than trying to follow the rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he tried to skirt around them. Few kids get arrested for drug use (yes, many experiment but your son was doing more than experimenting). Fewer still get to enjoy the comforts of juvie and an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Most who get to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at least try to work the program -- at least those who have a family behind them. I understand you have a list of wants and like tos, but you really need more than that. You need to be more definite. What exactly does it mean to respect his family, his home, himself? Playing it one day at a time is asking for trouble. Your son will think he can go back to old habits. You will have no definite plan of attack if he does. He is almost an adult and it is time he started shouldering some true responsibility. He threw his playtime away. If he wants to go to college, I would make it with the proviso that he has to maintain a certain grade point average. If he doesn't go to school, I would require him to get a job -- not working with dad but a job where he has to interview and see what kind of a job a high school grad can get -- and pay a nominal amount of rent. (You can put his rent money in a special account to give to him when he is ready to move out on his own.) As to driving, I would make the use of a car fairly restrictive when he first gets home. Make sure his is not just using it to hang out, especially not with the friends he did drugs with. You also need to decide now what you will do if he doesn't follow the rules of the house and be sure you can stick with whatever consequences you and your husband deem appropriate. I apologize for sounding harsh but there are some realities you need to face. Hopefully, his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will help you with specific goals, suggestions, etc. If they don't offer, I'd suggest you ask for their help. You truly can't play it loose. Your son is too vulnerable when he gets home to not have set guidelines. [/QUOTE]
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