First pass - success! :)

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    We had a great day together! husband cooked up some steaks, baked potatoes and caprese salad and I had made her favorite dessert. My plan was to hang out in the pool but we got rained out so we just hung out in the house. She has truly changed SO much. We were talking during the drive to the house and I told her one way I know she has truly changed is that when I think about the times during her relapse, the hades it was here in the house, that it just seems so foreign to me now. She started crying and said she NEVER EVER wants that life back. I completely believe her.

    husband cusses - a LOT. Like every other word out of his mouth is a cuss word - it makes me cringe. :( But she said to me on the drive back that she realized that is how SHE used to sound and she was horrified. I have never heard her cuss again since she has been in rehab. So different.

    She cleaned up after herself even when dad told her not to and that he would get it. She told him that is not a part of who she is anymore and continued to clean up.

    She is an awesome mom. She gave short time outs when necessary and talked to him after about what not to do. :)

    As for the staff member that relapsed, they have talked about it to them at rehab. They are very open about it and told them everything that has happened. G (the staff member) was arrested at the CVS trying to get drugs. The CVS employee recognized her from two weeks prior using a different name. The police arrested her there. She was found with a vial of urine in her bra. Apparently, they were suspecting something was up at the rehab and were testing her but she always tested clean. Her excuse for the relapse was that she was overwhelmed. M said that it has been very, very peaceful there since this staff member is now gone. That staff member would always point out their flaws instead of lifting them up (looking back, apparently to make herself feel better?). Granny promised the girls she would NEVER let anyone talk to them like that again.

    M did mention that she feels she will never get ahead money-wise. Their tithe is taken out of their checks, then rent at 600 a month and daycare is 35 per week (not free like I thought, but much cheaper than a regular daycare would cost). I told her that yes, it seems she is working just to pay her bills - but that is life. She has never had to experience that before. When she was homeless, she was living off other people, selling drugs, couch surfing, etc. She never had rent, bills, daycare, etc. I told her that it is still a way better deal than she will get living on her own considering utilities and food is included in her rent. She is also working a minimum wage job. So, this is all showing her what real life is like and why it is important to go to school to better ourselves.

    So all good stuff. Two more successful 7 hour passes and she will earn a weekend pass. If all goes well, she should have her first weekend pass on the same weekend that Joyce Meyer is coming to town. We will definitely be going to that together! How crazy that I was speechless when they told me she would get her first weekend pass in August when she first went in to rehab. I couldn't imagine her even coming back here for a day, never mind a weekend. And now, I look forward to spending all the time that I can with her and I can't wait for her weekend pass!! :)
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  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

  3. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Sounds fantastic. This is exactly what Princess was like when she got tired of drugs. All of a sudden she was clean cut and gaining a little weight and working and reasonable and she eventually went back to school...maybe M. will too. She can do it online. She's so young. She can still get some career. She doesn't have to be a millionaire.

    I'm really glad about all these changes. These are all so incredibly positive.

    Cheering you all on and extra kudos to your daughter!!!!!!!! Go, go, go!!!!!!!!!
  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    She brought a box home of boots and other winter items that she would not be wearing this summer. I looked through it today and found her journals from the time she started there through March. How cool it was to read her journal through the beginning of her journey!!! It just reaffirmed how wonderful this place is and how it works. The change in her perspectives, the change in her, even the change in her handwriting! I making sure these are saved... :)
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  5. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    That's awesome! !
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    She will have another pass this weekend - we are leaving Thursday evening to camp near her at a campground on a big lake. So Saturday I will pick her and Connor up and we will have a beach day!! :) VERY excited - I am missing them both to pieces...
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  7. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Have fun!
  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I just surprised her at work! I wasn't sure which McDonald's she worked at but just found that it is the one right down the street from the campground we are staying at this weekend!! I went in to get coffee and some of the other girls recognized me and told her I was there. Poor thing had a heart attack not knowing why I was there. Her heart was up in her throat! Once I told her that I didn't know that was the one she worked at and I was there to get coffee she breathed a huge sigh of relief and was ecstatic to see me. :) everyone was like Love love love that girl of mine!!!!!
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Another great day with her!! We spent a couple of hours at the lake and then went to chill in the camper to get away from the heat. We are very, very much looking forward to her getting her weekend passes. Then she will be with us from Friday - Sunday every other weekend. :) She would go from that to every weekend, but she works every other weekend so no matter what, it will remain every other weekend. And that is life. She has been able to pay off her bill at the rehab and is current with it. She said it keeps going up every new month, though. I laughed and said, yup, that is how life works! Rent is due every She says at this point, it does not feel like she is in rehab. She works ALL the time - even had overtime this week! Then comes home, does her chores, and cares for Connor before they go to bed. In other words, living a NORMAL life but with the support of the program environment. In four more months she will move into graduate housing and have their own place with one room mate. She will spend Christmas with us here and we are making plans to go to Hilton Head on a family vacation next year. :)

    Wednesday makes 7 months that she has been there. WOW!!
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  10. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    So great to hear how well she's doing!
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    PG, I am so happy hearing all of this! It gives me hope.
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Trust me, there was a time that I had none...
  13. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Patriotsgirl, my heart goes out to you for your happiness and the love and pride that radiates from your post.

    You deserve every bit of it. Your daughter is showing what she is made of and what she can do. And you too. How great for all of us that you are sharing this with us.
  14. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I just want everyone to know that there is hope. There were some really dark days and I never in a million years thought that she would have a relationship with husband. I think that is one of the things that surprises me the most...

    I did verify that her next pass will be the last 7 hour one. I am planning a day at a waterpark in South Carolina. It will be an hour drive but we will have a blast once we are there and Connor will love it! Her first weekend pass is the same weekend that Joyce Meyer is coming to town so we will definitely be going to that together. :)

    I pray for ALL of our children. I know they have it in them...if only they would get a chance to see that sober life is sooo much better...
  15. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    PG I remember some of those dark days....and your story has helped me keep hope alive.. I recommend to anyone reading who is feeling hopeless to go back in the archives and read about how bad it can get and to know recovery is possible!
  16. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Proud momma moment last night - I brought Connor back home last night and stayed for church with my daughter. Sunday evenings they have open service. One of the ladies there that works with my daughter at McDonald's came over to me and praised how well M does at her job. She said, mom, you should see this girl at work!!! She works SO hard and she knows what she is doing! She said M is going to be made crew leader one day soon. :) M was so humble about the compliment - this is NEW. I have never seen my daughter actually be humble. I swear, she just keeps improving.

    Then the pastor introduced a friend of his in the front row. He said the man was not a church going man and the man's wife prayed for years and years that he would find God. The pastor talked him into coming to the ministry for church one day for service with the women at the rehab. He said that evening, a young woman sat next to him for service, turned to him and said, "you know, you can be saved tonight" and that man ended up turning his life over to God that night. That young woman was my daughter. :) Now I know not everyone on this board believes and that is not what this is about. It is just pride that my daughter was not only able to change me, but a complete stranger, too. She was beaming about that and she should. She really does have a way with people...I always knew she could use that power for good!

    On a not so good note, I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. My daughter was a little distraught about that because she took care of people with diabetes in their addiction and saw them go downhill, but I told her not to worry - nothing is bringing me down. I WILL get this under control. :)
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  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm assuming type 2? If so, yes, you will likely be able to bring it under control fairly well, just have to really watch what you eat.
  18. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Yes, type 2 - runs in my family on both sides. I am at a good weight so it is not weight related, but I have drastically changed my diet and have started going back to the gym. I am keeping a log of what I eat and then testing to see what spikes it and what doesn't. I plan to take it very seriously - I want to see my grandson grow up!

    My sugar was 442 at the doctor's office last week. :( Ever since then it has been in the 200's. I am taking insulin shots before bed and have to increase a unit every day until I get it under 100. But so far it has not gotten under a 100. My lowest reading has been 194. But I will get there!!
  19. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Congratulations with your child! Always SOOOO good to hear a success story!

    Yeah, the diabetes thing sucks. Thats why Lil and I are dieting again. Our last physical showed us both firmly pre-diabetic and since it runs in my family and heart disease in hers, well, time to act.
  20. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    PG, so very glad for you and for your daughter and your grandson. There is hope, if we can get out of the way enough to let our precious adult kids figure it out---many times they will hit the bottom they need to hit.

    This is something I hear from Difficult Child as well as he is struggling to rebuild his life. Life on life's terms. Paying your own way. Digging out of the hole you have dug. It's very hard, but I believe this is the very stuff of character-building. Making it happen, even when it is very very hard, is what will build them as people. They have missed lots of time in developing as adults due to being substance abusers. Now, they have to do the hard hard work, and we have to let them do it.

    I constantly ask myself if there is anything I should do to help him. Sometimes I do one little thing, but for the most part, he needs to walk this road.

    I know it is hard and discouraging for all of them.

    Again, so very glad to hear all of this. There IS HOPE.