Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First Post: 23 year old Daughter Drains Our Bank and Driving Us Crazy
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712301" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Many thoughts.</p><p></p><p>1. If my child stole from me I would have pressed charges. Nobody can steal from me and get away with it. I tend to teach my adult sons and daughters consequences. At any rate, none would steal from me.</p><p></p><p>2. ADHD is no excuse for bad behavior or bad choices. My son has autism and works two jobs, lives in his own place on his dime and is the sweetest young man I know...i get compliments about him all the time. We dont supplement his money. I always think that is a bad idea. There are plenty of food pantries and there is assistance for food. You didnt tell us if daughter is using drugs???</p><p></p><p>3. It is your choice to let her manipulative words guilt you. You can choose not to be manipulated. You can choose not to engage her when she starts hinting at money. She took enough of your money. You can stop the talking or texting at the first hint of abuse or begging.</p><p></p><p>4. At your daughters age, it isnt her friends fa00ult that you daughter behaves badly. Your daughter is 100% responsible. She is friends with this other woman for a reason...like people hang around together. Be honest and admit nobody put a gun to your daughters head and forced her to act like a criminal. She owns everything she did and does. She could leave this friend. She is not a little girl...she is old enough to leave if she wants. Dont think of who she once was...who she is today is what matters.</p><p></p><p>5. None of us understand our diffult men and woman children. We are basically good to great parents whose adult children did not turn out to be typical thriving adults. But its not your fault. Many things affect thrm all...peers, how school went, environmet in our cities, personality, divorce, intelligence, common sense and most of all DNA. You did not cause this. You will never figure it out. None of us know why. Dont look at yourself.</p><p></p><p>Most of all I feel you need to protect yourself from your daughter. Does she have a conscience? I worry that she may not and could hurt you further. Do you have other family? They must also be protected.</p><p></p><p>Im still stunned by how much money she took yet still wants more. At this point in time, she is a full grown 23 year old woman and right now is not nice or trustworthy. And she is quite entitled...expecting way too much from you. Stop the Bank of Mom.</p><p></p><p>She also could very well be a pathological liar. Her stories can not all be true...excuses to get money from you methinks.</p><p></p><p>She perhaps has antisocial personality disorder. Look that up on the internet...you know her better than we do here.</p><p></p><p>You need to take care of yourself first. Limit contact with this daughter if she stresses you out. Dont lwt her in your house...she stole once and did not pay you back. What is she capable of? Meet her in neutral places such as coffee shops where she has no access to your belongings.</p><p></p><p>Do you see a therapist? Many of us would be far worse off without one. This is a good forum, but nothing is as good as real life professional support. We are just a start.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our group!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712301, member: 1550"] Many thoughts. 1. If my child stole from me I would have pressed charges. Nobody can steal from me and get away with it. I tend to teach my adult sons and daughters consequences. At any rate, none would steal from me. 2. ADHD is no excuse for bad behavior or bad choices. My son has autism and works two jobs, lives in his own place on his dime and is the sweetest young man I know...i get compliments about him all the time. We dont supplement his money. I always think that is a bad idea. There are plenty of food pantries and there is assistance for food. You didnt tell us if daughter is using drugs??? 3. It is your choice to let her manipulative words guilt you. You can choose not to be manipulated. You can choose not to engage her when she starts hinting at money. She took enough of your money. You can stop the talking or texting at the first hint of abuse or begging. 4. At your daughters age, it isnt her friends fa00ult that you daughter behaves badly. Your daughter is 100% responsible. She is friends with this other woman for a reason...like people hang around together. Be honest and admit nobody put a gun to your daughters head and forced her to act like a criminal. She owns everything she did and does. She could leave this friend. She is not a little girl...she is old enough to leave if she wants. Dont think of who she once was...who she is today is what matters. 5. None of us understand our diffult men and woman children. We are basically good to great parents whose adult children did not turn out to be typical thriving adults. But its not your fault. Many things affect thrm all...peers, how school went, environmet in our cities, personality, divorce, intelligence, common sense and most of all DNA. You did not cause this. You will never figure it out. None of us know why. Dont look at yourself. Most of all I feel you need to protect yourself from your daughter. Does she have a conscience? I worry that she may not and could hurt you further. Do you have other family? They must also be protected. Im still stunned by how much money she took yet still wants more. At this point in time, she is a full grown 23 year old woman and right now is not nice or trustworthy. And she is quite entitled...expecting way too much from you. Stop the Bank of Mom. She also could very well be a pathological liar. Her stories can not all be true...excuses to get money from you methinks. She perhaps has antisocial personality disorder. Look that up on the internet...you know her better than we do here. You need to take care of yourself first. Limit contact with this daughter if she stresses you out. Dont lwt her in your house...she stole once and did not pay you back. What is she capable of? Meet her in neutral places such as coffee shops where she has no access to your belongings. Do you see a therapist? Many of us would be far worse off without one. This is a good forum, but nothing is as good as real life professional support. We are just a start. Welcome to our group!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First Post: 23 year old Daughter Drains Our Bank and Driving Us Crazy
Top