I'm new here. Been lurking for awhile and so glad I found these forums! Okay so where do I begin? Without writing a book. Our youngest has been living away from home for about close to 2 years now. In that time she has stolen close to 8,000-10,000 $ from us. She decided she did not want to go the route of college instead trying to work. In the beginning it was fine she had a job at the mall but it was seasonal and she was let go. We told her from the beginning that we could not support her financially. Due to a raise and update with my husbands status at work we were able to give her some supplemental money for her food and rent. She is now doing an occasional job cleaning houses but doesn't make much money at it because she has not built up enough clients. She lives with a couple of girls and they split the rent so she could be near her best friend from high school. This friend has been a bad influence all of her life but since she was her only friend we tolerated her. Best friend has a child of her own born right after high school with a deadbeat baby-daddy boyfriend she lives with him at his parents. Anyway the influence of the "friend" got my daughter arrested in high school for shoplifting. They both did juvie community service. The friend's family knows no other way of life but stealing from people. So this has been my kid's influence and apparently role-models. Anyway back to our story: My daughter has done a complete turnaround in personality she seems to hate us intensely, feels we OWE her EVERYTHING, and lies to get what she wants, tries to guilt us into getting things/money from us. She keeps having one excuse after another for money problems. She claims she was robbed multiple times. Her account was hacked. She had a miscarriage. Then she had been raped and had to have an abortion.Tried to commit suicide (cutting mainly). Robbed again. Now she claims she is pregnant once again (now) even though she claims she takes BC. She even maxed out her best friends cards at the mall on clothes. We have had to close our bank account and open a new one. She used my and my hubs atm card info to take money. She also stole a check from us and forged it. Then with our check information she drained our bank account. We have not pressed charges but thought long and hard about doing so and letting her take the consequences. This most recent theft was over 3,500. We have changed all the passwords on every account. Gotten a new bank account. She has not been allowed back to our home. She lives 30 min. from us in another state so it would no problem to just drop by. Our new policy now is lock up the cash, checkbooks, purse, jewelry and laptops in the lockable file cabinets when we leave the house or by chance she stops by. The part I don't understand is where the HATRED comes from? She was a happy kid and given every opportunity. Play dates, karate classes, music lessons, ballet, gymnastics etc. She had a undetermined learning disability throughout school. I feel she has undiagnosed ADHD which has accelerated since her teens. Doesn't excuse her actions in knowing right from wrong. She seems to have taken on the best friends issues she has with her own family. Friend was told she was a much anticipated child (girl) but the mother has rejected/put her down at every turn. She favors the older brothers and forgives them every time through every jail sentence. Now my daughter seems to have taken this on as her own story (not true). She has an older sister who lives with us that has Asperger's-they were treated equally in our eyes. They have a sisterly jealousy but nothing serious. I don't understand where any of this is coming from or why it's happening. Any suggestions or thoughts are appreciated. I've read through some of your stories and see a lot of similarities and share the pain.