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General Parenting
First post. Child with ODD and Adhd
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<blockquote data-quote="Outdoorlover" data-source="post: 746581" data-attributes="member: 23589"><p>Hi,</p><p>There's great input in the previous responses. This brings me back to my now 24 year old daughter. I had a counselor tell me in her teenage years that she could no longer see her because they were not having therapeutic conversations and to continue to see her would be committing insurance fraud. We made the rounds to various counselors without success. </p><p></p><p>I currently see a counselor to discuss my daughter who has been in and out of jail and psychiatric hospitals. She has one child and another child on the way. She just left my home after living rent free, food free, and free babysitting while she was supposed to work and save so she could move out and provide for her child. Instead, she got pregnant! She left after 20 months without a penny saved. </p><p></p><p>My first suggestion is for you to see a counselor. It would be even better for your husband to join you in these sessions. My rationale for this is that you and him need support as a couple to have a united front and approach to your daughter. It appears there may be some disagreements in how to manage your daughter and a counselor could help you work thru this as a couple. Please, if you disagree as a couple regarding your daughter, talk out your disagreements in private and show a united front. Mothers have a more soft caring side. My husband is not her father either and we married two years ago. He could not believe how disrespectful she was to me while living at home. He also could not believe how I accepted it and he stated that I am so used to it I don't even recognize her disrespect. Sad to say, after 3 years of counseling...I find that I could save the time and money and listen to my husband because my counselor usually says the same thing he says. That may not be what you want to hear and may not be true in your situation but I am more emotional. </p><p></p><p>Also, start journaling and bring this to your counseling sessions. </p><p></p><p> I cannot put my finger on it but do not allow your daughter to manipulate you during mother/daughter times. She is still very young and the teenage years are usually worse. Your mother won't babysit and your husband is frustrated. Get into counseling with your husband if he will go. You said yourself she is very smart and she probably knows what emotions to tug on with you. I am just realizing that how much my daughter lied to me in the past. </p><p></p><p>You and your husband have alot of work to do together to help your daughter and your unborn child. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Outdoorlover, post: 746581, member: 23589"] Hi, There's great input in the previous responses. This brings me back to my now 24 year old daughter. I had a counselor tell me in her teenage years that she could no longer see her because they were not having therapeutic conversations and to continue to see her would be committing insurance fraud. We made the rounds to various counselors without success. I currently see a counselor to discuss my daughter who has been in and out of jail and psychiatric hospitals. She has one child and another child on the way. She just left my home after living rent free, food free, and free babysitting while she was supposed to work and save so she could move out and provide for her child. Instead, she got pregnant! She left after 20 months without a penny saved. My first suggestion is for you to see a counselor. It would be even better for your husband to join you in these sessions. My rationale for this is that you and him need support as a couple to have a united front and approach to your daughter. It appears there may be some disagreements in how to manage your daughter and a counselor could help you work thru this as a couple. Please, if you disagree as a couple regarding your daughter, talk out your disagreements in private and show a united front. Mothers have a more soft caring side. My husband is not her father either and we married two years ago. He could not believe how disrespectful she was to me while living at home. He also could not believe how I accepted it and he stated that I am so used to it I don't even recognize her disrespect. Sad to say, after 3 years of counseling...I find that I could save the time and money and listen to my husband because my counselor usually says the same thing he says. That may not be what you want to hear and may not be true in your situation but I am more emotional. Also, start journaling and bring this to your counseling sessions. I cannot put my finger on it but do not allow your daughter to manipulate you during mother/daughter times. She is still very young and the teenage years are usually worse. Your mother won't babysit and your husband is frustrated. Get into counseling with your husband if he will go. You said yourself she is very smart and she probably knows what emotions to tug on with you. I am just realizing that how much my daughter lied to me in the past. You and your husband have alot of work to do together to help your daughter and your unborn child. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. [/QUOTE]
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