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First post. Don't know what to do now for 16 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="horserider" data-source="post: 330274" data-attributes="member: 8054"><p>Many of us have been down this road, please know you are not alone. We went through similar serious issues with our 16 yr old difficult child (with the exception of drug use) for years. Our difficult child is now in a program in the jjc that he has to "earn" each week towards release date. He was charged with destruction of property and assult (not his 1st offense). We did have Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement for 3 months through our Community Mental Health, and many short term hospitilizations. You mentioned social services refused placement, have you contacted your county's community mental health for an assessment for placement? If he is non-medication compliant, violent (danger to family members) and using drugs he certainly does meet criteria for placement. I have told intake/assesement personel that someone in our family WILL end up in the hospital or worse if our difficult child was not placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He was stable for over a yr coming out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program. </p><p> </p><p>Another possible suggestion is for you and your husband to file a police report charging your difficult child as incorrigible. This may produce a court date where they at least put him on probation, with rules to follow. I agree with Susiestar to call and report anything that he does that is illegal. You and your family have a right to not be physically and emotionally abused. I also went through the constant swearing and name calling and understand how stressful this is to live with. My difficult child swore every time he spoke with me 6 months ago. He has started coming home on pass 12-30 hours the last few weekends. His swearing and disrepect towards us has improved 95%. </p><p>It has been a difficult road with our difficult child in the jjc program, but he is making progress and realizes where he will end up if he breaks the law again in ANY way. He is lucky to be in an intensive program in the jjc that involves group, ind. and family therapy, instead of just detention. We pushed for this, along with- our son's attorney. I would also call your probation dept for your county to ask what kind of programs they have for at risk children and drug abuse. Most juvinille courts have programs that proactively work with youth to help get them back on track, <em>before</em> they get arrested. At 17 yrs old you will not be able to obtain services that may be available for your difficult child now, time is running out. This is why we took drastic measures with our difficult child, who just turned 17, to get him support to turn his life around. I am sorry you are going through this.</p><p> </p><p>Dragon, thoughts and prayers are with you also. Stay strong, you are doing the best you can. The threads on detachment have truly helped me here. </p><p> </p><p>Take care of yourself.</p><p>Hugs and prayers</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="horserider, post: 330274, member: 8054"] Many of us have been down this road, please know you are not alone. We went through similar serious issues with our 16 yr old difficult child (with the exception of drug use) for years. Our difficult child is now in a program in the jjc that he has to "earn" each week towards release date. He was charged with destruction of property and assult (not his 1st offense). We did have Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement for 3 months through our Community Mental Health, and many short term hospitilizations. You mentioned social services refused placement, have you contacted your county's community mental health for an assessment for placement? If he is non-medication compliant, violent (danger to family members) and using drugs he certainly does meet criteria for placement. I have told intake/assesement personel that someone in our family WILL end up in the hospital or worse if our difficult child was not placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He was stable for over a yr coming out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program. Another possible suggestion is for you and your husband to file a police report charging your difficult child as incorrigible. This may produce a court date where they at least put him on probation, with rules to follow. I agree with Susiestar to call and report anything that he does that is illegal. You and your family have a right to not be physically and emotionally abused. I also went through the constant swearing and name calling and understand how stressful this is to live with. My difficult child swore every time he spoke with me 6 months ago. He has started coming home on pass 12-30 hours the last few weekends. His swearing and disrepect towards us has improved 95%. It has been a difficult road with our difficult child in the jjc program, but he is making progress and realizes where he will end up if he breaks the law again in ANY way. He is lucky to be in an intensive program in the jjc that involves group, ind. and family therapy, instead of just detention. We pushed for this, along with- our son's attorney. I would also call your probation dept for your county to ask what kind of programs they have for at risk children and drug abuse. Most juvinille courts have programs that proactively work with youth to help get them back on track, [I]before[/I] they get arrested. At 17 yrs old you will not be able to obtain services that may be available for your difficult child now, time is running out. This is why we took drastic measures with our difficult child, who just turned 17, to get him support to turn his life around. I am sorry you are going through this. Dragon, thoughts and prayers are with you also. Stay strong, you are doing the best you can. The threads on detachment have truly helped me here. Take care of yourself. Hugs and prayers [/QUOTE]
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