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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 556705" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>I hear ya! Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to "discipline" an adult.</p><p></p><p>If he breaks the law, you can call the police. You can set some rules for your home and if he does not abide them - you can ask him to leave. But I think that's about it.</p><p></p><p>Yes - it would be wonderful if he decided to pursue success and chase a college degree with gusto....but it sounds like that's not what he wants right now. And unless he wants it for himself - there is not much you will be able to do to make it happen.</p><p></p><p>As far as "throwing him out" goes...I think when one says that, one pictures kicking their child in the behind as they shove them out the door into the cold and rain with a box of personal belongings in their hands. Instead - why not think about "transitioning" him to independent living?</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child is 17 and will (knock on wood) be graduating high school this year. She has no interest in college (and to be honest, her scholastic performance thus far has been abysmal - so no sense wasting money on failing college courses) but IS working and doing well at a job (again - knock on wood).</p><p></p><p>We have been helping her practice putting paychecks into a savings account, and teaching her about budgeting, planning ahead for expenses, doing her taxes, that sort of thing. We've also been amassing some household things for her such as a kitchenette set and a futon - with the understanding that she can use these things to help furnish an apartment. We've made it clear that "laying around doing nothing" is not an option - she must start functioning like an adult.</p><p></p><p>You are heading into the holidays and toward the end of the semester at school. If he flunks - you can tell him that come January, he'll need to head into the next pjhase of his life....with your support (emotional support - you are not paying for everything he needs).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 556705, member: 6546"] I hear ya! Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to "discipline" an adult. If he breaks the law, you can call the police. You can set some rules for your home and if he does not abide them - you can ask him to leave. But I think that's about it. Yes - it would be wonderful if he decided to pursue success and chase a college degree with gusto....but it sounds like that's not what he wants right now. And unless he wants it for himself - there is not much you will be able to do to make it happen. As far as "throwing him out" goes...I think when one says that, one pictures kicking their child in the behind as they shove them out the door into the cold and rain with a box of personal belongings in their hands. Instead - why not think about "transitioning" him to independent living? Our difficult child is 17 and will (knock on wood) be graduating high school this year. She has no interest in college (and to be honest, her scholastic performance thus far has been abysmal - so no sense wasting money on failing college courses) but IS working and doing well at a job (again - knock on wood). We have been helping her practice putting paychecks into a savings account, and teaching her about budgeting, planning ahead for expenses, doing her taxes, that sort of thing. We've also been amassing some household things for her such as a kitchenette set and a futon - with the understanding that she can use these things to help furnish an apartment. We've made it clear that "laying around doing nothing" is not an option - she must start functioning like an adult. You are heading into the holidays and toward the end of the semester at school. If he flunks - you can tell him that come January, he'll need to head into the next pjhase of his life....with your support (emotional support - you are not paying for everything he needs). [/QUOTE]
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