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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 557023" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Welcome, and sorry you have to be here. I have a 22 year old daughter that sounds like she could be your son's sister! Community college was a disaster for her. The only thing that really works with her is if I write out VERY specific rules and expectations about what she has to do to live at my house (she has a 2 year old daughter, so count your blessings you don't have that to worry about). I also have to give her the VERY specific consequences of her actions, like if she breaks 2 rules she has 10 days to find another place to live. I literally have to keep in this behavioral box or else she acts like a lunatic. She is in counseling now, and I would suggest you encourage him to do the same. He may be depressed, which makes it hard for him to take action, which makes him more depressed.... It's an endless cycle. </p><p></p><p>I do not like my own child and I used to feel incredible guilt about it. Then one day I thought how if she was a co-worker who treated me like this I wouldn't like her, so why should it be different just because she's my child? It shouldn't and I have explained to her repeatedly that just because I am her mother doesn't mean I will tolerate disrespectful treatment. I had to really lay down boundaries for her to get it, but it's been better. It sucks- it's like having a 14 year old in an adult's body who has a toddler. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 557023, member: 11235"] Welcome, and sorry you have to be here. I have a 22 year old daughter that sounds like she could be your son's sister! Community college was a disaster for her. The only thing that really works with her is if I write out VERY specific rules and expectations about what she has to do to live at my house (she has a 2 year old daughter, so count your blessings you don't have that to worry about). I also have to give her the VERY specific consequences of her actions, like if she breaks 2 rules she has 10 days to find another place to live. I literally have to keep in this behavioral box or else she acts like a lunatic. She is in counseling now, and I would suggest you encourage him to do the same. He may be depressed, which makes it hard for him to take action, which makes him more depressed.... It's an endless cycle. I do not like my own child and I used to feel incredible guilt about it. Then one day I thought how if she was a co-worker who treated me like this I wouldn't like her, so why should it be different just because she's my child? It shouldn't and I have explained to her repeatedly that just because I am her mother doesn't mean I will tolerate disrespectful treatment. I had to really lay down boundaries for her to get it, but it's been better. It sucks- it's like having a 14 year old in an adult's body who has a toddler. :sigh: [/QUOTE]
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