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First post; what you'd call a "difficult child" here, wanting perspective from parents like mine
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<blockquote data-quote="stalln4x" data-source="post: 553725" data-attributes="member: 15244"><p>Thanks each of you for the replies. Looking my post over today, I feel petty and b*tchy although it was very therapeutic to spill my guts all over the internet (sketchy though it was crying for an hour in a hotel room typing that all up). It just felt good to vent--no wonder you're all on here lol. That said, would it be selfish or a disservice to edit out the body of my original post? I kind of don't like the idea of this all being out there, although the context of your replies would be lost. Also, would it be weird or inappropriate if I kept this account and came out of lurking once in a while to try to get parents/ex-difficult child's take on things once in a while when bringing things up with mine might be more harmful? As an aside, I've been reading this forum for so long that I'm something analogous to being starstruck at interacting with you all finally, heh.</p><p></p><p>I did talk to my parents, just in an optimistic way and it seems like they look at things more as "this was a good day that I enjoyed, that was a bad day that I didn't" rather than as everything bad I've done being cumulative. Things just get way too serious sometimes, although that's probably my mindset.</p><p></p><p>MidwestMom, did you ever find that bipolar medications did more harm than good? Did you ever think so but later come around, or was the concept of the diagnosis ever a trigger in and of itself? I don't know about you, but nothing gives me a mood swing or whatever faster than someone rattling a bottle of pills at me saying "we need to get you stable!". Part of me isn't going to accept that diagnosis even if it turns out to be right just because that'd be a barrier to adoption (I'm gay, but somewhat traditional--maybe I'll still have this account if I ever start a family and need advice; it's cool to see how many adoptive families there are here). I can't imagine having such adult responsibilities at this age, but you're right that at this age I shouldn't be "simulating" adulthood in a parentally-insulated buffer. I admire you being able to pull through all that. I'm going to probe and try to see how much my psychiatrist is costing because I do want to be as little of a financial burden as I can be and it would be empowering to take charge of my own healthcare... I feel like a disobedient pet at times. </p><p></p><p>The humor is nice, DammitJannet. My head spins at some of the stuff I read, trying to imagine both what I'd do but while also knowing I've put my parents through a lot of similar hell. It's good that you don't have regrets about having your kid. My mom just told me that they didn't get any embryonic fluid sceening stuff done because she said it wouldn't have made a difference so I guess I am looking too much at the negative in spite of how strong parental bonds really are. That, and I'm well beyond statute of limitation for being aborted <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /> (humor right back at ya, heh).</p><p></p><p>I wanted to say thanks for your kind reply also, TeDo. I was able to withdraw from two of the classes and am sticking one out since it's part of a sequence. Although holy god damned hell is this "living" situation killing me. My dad is even talking about which classes "we're taking". This really is kind of disturbing on different levels. Suffocating has never been so frustrating and it ticks me off more knowing that we could have already paid for an entire year of an apartment, food, and gas for how much we've spent on this stupid hotel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stalln4x, post: 553725, member: 15244"] Thanks each of you for the replies. Looking my post over today, I feel petty and b*tchy although it was very therapeutic to spill my guts all over the internet (sketchy though it was crying for an hour in a hotel room typing that all up). It just felt good to vent--no wonder you're all on here lol. That said, would it be selfish or a disservice to edit out the body of my original post? I kind of don't like the idea of this all being out there, although the context of your replies would be lost. Also, would it be weird or inappropriate if I kept this account and came out of lurking once in a while to try to get parents/ex-difficult child's take on things once in a while when bringing things up with mine might be more harmful? As an aside, I've been reading this forum for so long that I'm something analogous to being starstruck at interacting with you all finally, heh. I did talk to my parents, just in an optimistic way and it seems like they look at things more as "this was a good day that I enjoyed, that was a bad day that I didn't" rather than as everything bad I've done being cumulative. Things just get way too serious sometimes, although that's probably my mindset. MidwestMom, did you ever find that bipolar medications did more harm than good? Did you ever think so but later come around, or was the concept of the diagnosis ever a trigger in and of itself? I don't know about you, but nothing gives me a mood swing or whatever faster than someone rattling a bottle of pills at me saying "we need to get you stable!". Part of me isn't going to accept that diagnosis even if it turns out to be right just because that'd be a barrier to adoption (I'm gay, but somewhat traditional--maybe I'll still have this account if I ever start a family and need advice; it's cool to see how many adoptive families there are here). I can't imagine having such adult responsibilities at this age, but you're right that at this age I shouldn't be "simulating" adulthood in a parentally-insulated buffer. I admire you being able to pull through all that. I'm going to probe and try to see how much my psychiatrist is costing because I do want to be as little of a financial burden as I can be and it would be empowering to take charge of my own healthcare... I feel like a disobedient pet at times. The humor is nice, DammitJannet. My head spins at some of the stuff I read, trying to imagine both what I'd do but while also knowing I've put my parents through a lot of similar hell. It's good that you don't have regrets about having your kid. My mom just told me that they didn't get any embryonic fluid sceening stuff done because she said it wouldn't have made a difference so I guess I am looking too much at the negative in spite of how strong parental bonds really are. That, and I'm well beyond statute of limitation for being aborted :P (humor right back at ya, heh). I wanted to say thanks for your kind reply also, TeDo. I was able to withdraw from two of the classes and am sticking one out since it's part of a sequence. Although holy god damned hell is this "living" situation killing me. My dad is even talking about which classes "we're taking". This really is kind of disturbing on different levels. Suffocating has never been so frustrating and it ticks me off more knowing that we could have already paid for an entire year of an apartment, food, and gas for how much we've spent on this stupid hotel. [/QUOTE]
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First post; what you'd call a "difficult child" here, wanting perspective from parents like mine
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