Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time here
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 660886" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Welcome, Maxma. I'm sorry you had to google that question. </p><p></p><p>A lot of us have kids with mental illness, depression and anxiety common among them. A lot of us have abandonment issues, either ourselves or for our kids. </p><p></p><p>I feel sad for your son, and for you, and most especially for the younger one. </p><p></p><p>Here is what I think on reading your short story...a 20 year old who lives off of his mother, isn't in school, and doesn't have a job, is an anomaly. Something needs to change. Since you have tried and tried to change him (by begging, pleading, crying, screaming, and I"m sure by finding therapists, looking for jobs, and talking to teachers etc), you now are left with the only option being to change yourself. </p><p></p><p>You have a lot of company. You might try to see if there is a local chapter of NAMI, a national support group for families of people with mental illness. You might read some books, starting with one we all like called "Boundaries". You might start by setting some limits and expectations.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry he suffers from severe depression. That doesn't give him the right to lie around and live off of you without trying to better himself. </p><p></p><p>Spend some time gathering your resources. Think about what boundaries you can set...that he applies for one job every day? That he pays for groceries? That he pays for his phone or video games?</p><p></p><p>That he be living somewhere else in three months?</p><p></p><p>That he sit down with you and your other son for dinner every night?</p><p></p><p>What do you need from him?</p><p></p><p>Others will come along and ask questions and make comments. It will give you a lot to think about. Good luck to you, and welcome.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 660886, member: 17269"] Welcome, Maxma. I'm sorry you had to google that question. A lot of us have kids with mental illness, depression and anxiety common among them. A lot of us have abandonment issues, either ourselves or for our kids. I feel sad for your son, and for you, and most especially for the younger one. Here is what I think on reading your short story...a 20 year old who lives off of his mother, isn't in school, and doesn't have a job, is an anomaly. Something needs to change. Since you have tried and tried to change him (by begging, pleading, crying, screaming, and I"m sure by finding therapists, looking for jobs, and talking to teachers etc), you now are left with the only option being to change yourself. You have a lot of company. You might try to see if there is a local chapter of NAMI, a national support group for families of people with mental illness. You might read some books, starting with one we all like called "Boundaries". You might start by setting some limits and expectations. I am sorry he suffers from severe depression. That doesn't give him the right to lie around and live off of you without trying to better himself. Spend some time gathering your resources. Think about what boundaries you can set...that he applies for one job every day? That he pays for groceries? That he pays for his phone or video games? That he be living somewhere else in three months? That he sit down with you and your other son for dinner every night? What do you need from him? Others will come along and ask questions and make comments. It will give you a lot to think about. Good luck to you, and welcome. Echo [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time here
Top