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First Time Posting: Kicked son out and I just don't think I can handle this!
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 471157" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Hi, Im sorry I havent welcomed you to our little corner of the universe but I am out of town. I am sorry you have to meet us under such circumstances but we are a great group of people with a wealth of experience (if I do say so myself!). </p><p></p><p>As you have read, many of us have had to go through experiences similar to yours. I know its not easy but 28 is no longer a young adult child. He is a full grown man now who can figure all this out. I know it hurts a moms heart to think of our kids out there in the cold but as you have seen, he has found the art of couch surfing. Most do. When that gets old, he will learn other ways to survive. When nothing else works, necessity is mother of invention...isnt that the quote? At 28 he could have already served 10 years in the military by now! That is 2 and a half enlistments. He would be half way to retirement! When you think about his age now, it doesnt seem so young does it? </p><p></p><p>I do understand about being in the sandwich generation too. We took care of my mom when she had alzheimers. It was very hard on all of us. My boys were from mid teens to early 20's. It was very hard. I lost my job, my kids all had to pitch in, and she went down hill fast. It is hard to do anything when you are taking care of a parent.</p><p></p><p>I do think you are doing the right thing with just not giving him any support other than emotional support. If he asks for help, we have a list in the archives with pat answers that you can keep handy to use if he calls. Things like..."well you are a smart young man and I am sure you will figure it out." Or "Hmmm, I will have to get back to you later, the cake is burning in the oven." </p><p></p><p>Lots of times with my son if he asks me something and I am not sure if I want to do it or not...my first response is NO. If I change my mind I can always go back and decide to do it. If I say yes, changing it to no is harder. Or of course you can always say your cell phone is dying. Or the signal is weak and you cant hear them...its breaking up. wha..ca..he..d.u ...cl cl.cl and then hang up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 471157, member: 1514"] Hi, Im sorry I havent welcomed you to our little corner of the universe but I am out of town. I am sorry you have to meet us under such circumstances but we are a great group of people with a wealth of experience (if I do say so myself!). As you have read, many of us have had to go through experiences similar to yours. I know its not easy but 28 is no longer a young adult child. He is a full grown man now who can figure all this out. I know it hurts a moms heart to think of our kids out there in the cold but as you have seen, he has found the art of couch surfing. Most do. When that gets old, he will learn other ways to survive. When nothing else works, necessity is mother of invention...isnt that the quote? At 28 he could have already served 10 years in the military by now! That is 2 and a half enlistments. He would be half way to retirement! When you think about his age now, it doesnt seem so young does it? I do understand about being in the sandwich generation too. We took care of my mom when she had alzheimers. It was very hard on all of us. My boys were from mid teens to early 20's. It was very hard. I lost my job, my kids all had to pitch in, and she went down hill fast. It is hard to do anything when you are taking care of a parent. I do think you are doing the right thing with just not giving him any support other than emotional support. If he asks for help, we have a list in the archives with pat answers that you can keep handy to use if he calls. Things like..."well you are a smart young man and I am sure you will figure it out." Or "Hmmm, I will have to get back to you later, the cake is burning in the oven." Lots of times with my son if he asks me something and I am not sure if I want to do it or not...my first response is NO. If I change my mind I can always go back and decide to do it. If I say yes, changing it to no is harder. Or of course you can always say your cell phone is dying. Or the signal is weak and you cant hear them...its breaking up. wha..ca..he..d.u ...cl cl.cl and then hang up. [/QUOTE]
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First Time Posting: Kicked son out and I just don't think I can handle this!
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