I need to do things differently or I am not going to make it. I am a senior - My grandson and other relatives are alcoholics. I have been dealing with the substance abuse rescue/recovery/relapse issue since he was 18 - it has now been several years. He is my most cherished relative (so when I let him go, I really have no family, per se). He has been in jail, rehabs, hospital . . . each time I have hope - of course - when people go to rehab you focus on positive. He is constantly relapsing. I have habits that I need to change - I debate not doing certain things because I wonder if it is denial not to see when he has last logged into FB, for example (I do that to note patterns and to see if he is alive). If I don't check, then I think I am going into denial . . . I become obsessed with him - how he is doing - is he sober? Is he eating? Will he live? Where is he? I don't have much of a life outside of him - I have things I like to do - but not much support. I went away this weekend, and it was "okay" - I am glad to be home with my dog. I am a writer and am working on my web site, but when I am worried, I can't focus. It seems like there is always a great mystery - right now I noticed his skewed patterns and asked him about it via text and he responded - but his responses made me think he relapsed. Did he or didn't he? Will he lose his job? Where is he staying? I can't seem to NOT care or wonder what is going on with him. I will review the detachment piece, but I really need a coach to live with me 24/7 and talk to me. I am very sick of this but don't know how to create a different life for myself because these are my relatives - I don't have other ones - just these dysfunctional people. Any ideas how I can go on and not care so much if he lives or dies (basically, that is it at the core)?