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Follow up on work - or how many times to you have to point out the line in the sand?
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 484226" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>I had an employer like that. The guy yelled all the time, didn't listen to anything you said...I could go on for days. I was salary - pay configured at 8 hours a day - but almost never worked less than 10 (my lunch hour consisted of running errands - taking the deposit to the bank, the books to the accountant, going to the printers, getting office supplies - I often had no time for lunch during my so-called lunch hour) and there was hell to pay if I was out - which I rarely was. (I had a babysitter who took kids when they were sick - the only time she wouldn't take them was if they had pink eye, until they had been on antibiotics for 24 hours. She even took them with chickenpox.) I couldn't even take 5 days in a row for vacation because there was no one to cover for me. I worked when I was sick. That's how I ended up in the ER with a kidney infection that had almost gone septic and they wanted to hospitalize me (but I couldn't afford it - no insurance). That was on a Thursday. I worked all that week with a 103 fever, vomiting, chills, pain. And on Thursday I called at 6:30am because I couldn't get out of bed. That night my then-boyfriend took me to the ER. That night my boss told me he was drilling to have the locks changed. Because I missed a day of work. I told him to do what he had to do and hung up. I was done, and too sick to care that I had 2 little kids and now no job.</p><p></p><p>The next morning at 7:30am they were calling me because they didn't know how to do what I did, and it was a different ballgame for me. I still couldn't get up unassisted, but I went off about things and reminded them that I had been fired (this was his wife). She called me back and said that "John say's you're not fired. You're not going to quit are you?" "Not until I have another job."</p><p></p><p>Until that point, I had put my foot down on some things, but I let a lot of things slide and like you I was worried sick and upset all the time. It was like a bad marriage. After that, I didn't take it for a second and boy did he respond. I stopped running errands on my lunch hour. I stopped doing the work of 2 people, and his wife came in and helped part time (including running the errands). If I needed to leave to take one of my kid's to the doctor, I didn't let him bully me into waiting and taking him/her to after hours urgent care. If he started yelling (you could literally watch him start to flip through things looking for something to go off about - he was soooo borderline, and a drug addict), I walked away or told him that if he didn't stop, I was leaving (there were times he was so bad that a couple of hours later I got chocolate and/or flowers). When he wanted to write off personal expenses as business, I refused to touch it (and the business was not run out of his home, so it was total fraud). </p><p></p><p>Long story short, what I learned from this experience is that people (at least men - my experience) who act like that don't respond until you behave in a manner they can understand - the language they themselves speak. He still tried to pull his **** all the time, but I didn't back down and he'd be the one who'd end up backpedaling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 484226, member: 7083"] I had an employer like that. The guy yelled all the time, didn't listen to anything you said...I could go on for days. I was salary - pay configured at 8 hours a day - but almost never worked less than 10 (my lunch hour consisted of running errands - taking the deposit to the bank, the books to the accountant, going to the printers, getting office supplies - I often had no time for lunch during my so-called lunch hour) and there was hell to pay if I was out - which I rarely was. (I had a babysitter who took kids when they were sick - the only time she wouldn't take them was if they had pink eye, until they had been on antibiotics for 24 hours. She even took them with chickenpox.) I couldn't even take 5 days in a row for vacation because there was no one to cover for me. I worked when I was sick. That's how I ended up in the ER with a kidney infection that had almost gone septic and they wanted to hospitalize me (but I couldn't afford it - no insurance). That was on a Thursday. I worked all that week with a 103 fever, vomiting, chills, pain. And on Thursday I called at 6:30am because I couldn't get out of bed. That night my then-boyfriend took me to the ER. That night my boss told me he was drilling to have the locks changed. Because I missed a day of work. I told him to do what he had to do and hung up. I was done, and too sick to care that I had 2 little kids and now no job. The next morning at 7:30am they were calling me because they didn't know how to do what I did, and it was a different ballgame for me. I still couldn't get up unassisted, but I went off about things and reminded them that I had been fired (this was his wife). She called me back and said that "John say's you're not fired. You're not going to quit are you?" "Not until I have another job." Until that point, I had put my foot down on some things, but I let a lot of things slide and like you I was worried sick and upset all the time. It was like a bad marriage. After that, I didn't take it for a second and boy did he respond. I stopped running errands on my lunch hour. I stopped doing the work of 2 people, and his wife came in and helped part time (including running the errands). If I needed to leave to take one of my kid's to the doctor, I didn't let him bully me into waiting and taking him/her to after hours urgent care. If he started yelling (you could literally watch him start to flip through things looking for something to go off about - he was soooo borderline, and a drug addict), I walked away or told him that if he didn't stop, I was leaving (there were times he was so bad that a couple of hours later I got chocolate and/or flowers). When he wanted to write off personal expenses as business, I refused to touch it (and the business was not run out of his home, so it was total fraud). Long story short, what I learned from this experience is that people (at least men - my experience) who act like that don't respond until you behave in a manner they can understand - the language they themselves speak. He still tried to pull his **** all the time, but I didn't back down and he'd be the one who'd end up backpedaling. [/QUOTE]
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Follow up on work - or how many times to you have to point out the line in the sand?
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