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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 496197" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>You know, Witz, my mother and I had a very difficult relationship fueled by her unmedicated bipolar disorder, alcoholism and drug use. But my father never said a negative word against her and encouraged a relationship with her. There was only one time (when my mother was really spiraling out of control badly) that he kept me away but he explained that it was because she was sick rather than a bad person. I ended up, in time, distancing myself from my mom but only because I couldn't tolerate the constant upheaval she brought. Not out of anger or hate. And my husband and I eloped rather than have a big wedding because I knew in my heart that she would be out of control and "ruin" the event (can't have a bar and not expect an alcoholic to drink). But we made the decision to elope not as a way to punish mom but rather not give her an opportunity to ruin what was left of our relationship. We certainly would not have made her feel singled out or excluded. She was my mother. If we couldn't have her at the wedding, then we don't have the wedding... Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>L is a twisted soul and I feel bad for her. And, truthfully, I resent that she's had a mother fighting to be a part of her life all these years and she's deluded to realize what she's missing out on.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I would go if invited because I know that despite all the pain she is causing you that you do love her and it will hurt more to stay away in the end. And I think I would frame a picture of you and L when she was little and give that as a gift.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 496197, member: 1722"] You know, Witz, my mother and I had a very difficult relationship fueled by her unmedicated bipolar disorder, alcoholism and drug use. But my father never said a negative word against her and encouraged a relationship with her. There was only one time (when my mother was really spiraling out of control badly) that he kept me away but he explained that it was because she was sick rather than a bad person. I ended up, in time, distancing myself from my mom but only because I couldn't tolerate the constant upheaval she brought. Not out of anger or hate. And my husband and I eloped rather than have a big wedding because I knew in my heart that she would be out of control and "ruin" the event (can't have a bar and not expect an alcoholic to drink). But we made the decision to elope not as a way to punish mom but rather not give her an opportunity to ruin what was left of our relationship. We certainly would not have made her feel singled out or excluded. She was my mother. If we couldn't have her at the wedding, then we don't have the wedding... Know what I mean?? L is a twisted soul and I feel bad for her. And, truthfully, I resent that she's had a mother fighting to be a part of her life all these years and she's deluded to realize what she's missing out on. Personally, I would go if invited because I know that despite all the pain she is causing you that you do love her and it will hurt more to stay away in the end. And I think I would frame a picture of you and L when she was little and give that as a gift. [/QUOTE]
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