Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
For those of you with your difficult children
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 93886" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>Well, I had Brandon out for about 5 years. Not in an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) setting all the time, of course, but also in the "theraputic" (*sarcasm*) foster care settings as well.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to decide the goal, Linda. I don't mean a 6 month goal, I mean a long term goal. He's been in for 3 years. Is there a possibility of him learning the boundaries, being able to mold in with you, husband and kt, and follow along like he is supposed to? If not, maybe everyone needs to re-think the best place for wm to be, permanently. I'm making no suggestion toward one or the other, just throwing it out there, because I've had to think about this myself.</p><p></p><p>I always had the goal with Brandon as reunification, but at times, wondered, even came very close to, doing permanent placement, because I just didn't think he could blend back in with us. I didn't think he'd ever *get it*.</p><p></p><p>But he did. And amazingly, since reunification, he's been better here than in any of his placements. Oddly enough, his visists were mostly stressful and I couldn't wait for them to be over. He was aggressive to Dylan, his words were usually nasty, he was not defiant, but very lazy. Since reunification, he hasn't been this way. Go figure. Maybe in the placement, he was pushing buttons. I don't know. But he's been a pleasure to have here since.</p><p></p><p>Only you are going to know when wm is ready and when it's comfortable. I guess if the goal is reunification, though, at some point everyone is going to start saying to you, "ok, when?". After 2 years, I started getting hounded, and every 3 months after that, until I finally said, just bring him home.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hard for you. been there done that. I'm sorry. I wish I had better words for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 93886, member: 2737"] Well, I had Brandon out for about 5 years. Not in an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) setting all the time, of course, but also in the "theraputic" (*sarcasm*) foster care settings as well. I think you need to decide the goal, Linda. I don't mean a 6 month goal, I mean a long term goal. He's been in for 3 years. Is there a possibility of him learning the boundaries, being able to mold in with you, husband and kt, and follow along like he is supposed to? If not, maybe everyone needs to re-think the best place for wm to be, permanently. I'm making no suggestion toward one or the other, just throwing it out there, because I've had to think about this myself. I always had the goal with Brandon as reunification, but at times, wondered, even came very close to, doing permanent placement, because I just didn't think he could blend back in with us. I didn't think he'd ever *get it*. But he did. And amazingly, since reunification, he's been better here than in any of his placements. Oddly enough, his visists were mostly stressful and I couldn't wait for them to be over. He was aggressive to Dylan, his words were usually nasty, he was not defiant, but very lazy. Since reunification, he hasn't been this way. Go figure. Maybe in the placement, he was pushing buttons. I don't know. But he's been a pleasure to have here since. Only you are going to know when wm is ready and when it's comfortable. I guess if the goal is reunification, though, at some point everyone is going to start saying to you, "ok, when?". After 2 years, I started getting hounded, and every 3 months after that, until I finally said, just bring him home. I know this is hard for you. been there done that. I'm sorry. I wish I had better words for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
For those of you with your difficult children
Top