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Parent Emeritus
Fosters ready, but I dont' think I am...
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 131453" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Star, I understand your being conflicted but the big question should be what is best for Dude? He can stay with you until he starts acting up again. No matter what, he will shout, scream, call you names again. It's the nature of the beast -- not just Dude but being a teenage boy. Testosterone will win out if nothing else does. At that point, you'll be right back to he has to be gone, you can't take it and you're right -- right now, it is too much for you to handle. Too much has happened.</p><p> </p><p>Having him go now because that was what the plan was has got to be better for him psychologically. Imagine the message he gets if you let him stay, he acts out and you have to shove him out the door for your health and sanity. Something like Mom only loves me when I'm not me, when I'm this perfect kid. I'm a total loser, why should I bother trying. Those are not the messages you want him to have.</p><p> </p><p>A foster home may not be the best choice but, who knows, with you being so close to give him support and love, it might just work. I'd be checking the credentials of this family, though. Just because someone says they're a TFH doesn't make it so. For a kid like Dude, they need to have some serious training, not just a willingness to take on a seriously troubled teenager. However, that you will be close by, can support both the family and your son has got to be factored in. It just might make the difference.</p><p> </p><p>It stinks to have to listen to our head rather than our hearts. This is one time I think the head has to prevail -- for your survival, for the better message to Dude, for the chance it will give him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 131453, member: 3626"] Star, I understand your being conflicted but the big question should be what is best for Dude? He can stay with you until he starts acting up again. No matter what, he will shout, scream, call you names again. It's the nature of the beast -- not just Dude but being a teenage boy. Testosterone will win out if nothing else does. At that point, you'll be right back to he has to be gone, you can't take it and you're right -- right now, it is too much for you to handle. Too much has happened. Having him go now because that was what the plan was has got to be better for him psychologically. Imagine the message he gets if you let him stay, he acts out and you have to shove him out the door for your health and sanity. Something like Mom only loves me when I'm not me, when I'm this perfect kid. I'm a total loser, why should I bother trying. Those are not the messages you want him to have. A foster home may not be the best choice but, who knows, with you being so close to give him support and love, it might just work. I'd be checking the credentials of this family, though. Just because someone says they're a TFH doesn't make it so. For a kid like Dude, they need to have some serious training, not just a willingness to take on a seriously troubled teenager. However, that you will be close by, can support both the family and your son has got to be factored in. It just might make the difference. It stinks to have to listen to our head rather than our hearts. This is one time I think the head has to prevail -- for your survival, for the better message to Dude, for the chance it will give him. [/QUOTE]
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Fosters ready, but I dont' think I am...
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