Found him with a knife again.......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kylesmylife, Mar 15, 2007.

  1. Kylesmylife

    Kylesmylife New Member

    :nonono: Why is it just when you think you are past something and the difficult child gets it, it comes right back. We have had many problems with our difficult child when it comes to knifes. He has made it so we have only 2 in the house and they are under lock and key, yet he seems to find more all the time. Just today, as things were going great we get home from our bi-weekly trip to the hospital and he's in a great mood. The little girl across the street tells him as we are getting out of the car " I found it ". As he is running over to her yelling back at me I love you mom its ok just go in the house I felt my world stop. I know him and new I needed to keep my eye on him. I let him go, but from the door watched as he had her pick it up and give it to him. When I called him over and told him to bring what he had that was all it took, he lost it. How do I get him to understand there are many reasons why I don't want him to have them? One day someone is going to get hurt or he will hurt himself again. I don't think I can find him again and not end up in the hospital myself. I'm so at the end of the rope with this.....
  2. sameold sameold

    sameold sameold New Member

    I feel for you, we had to keep all our knives under lock and key until difficult child moved out recently. Hopefully there aren't anymore out there.
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sigh....sometimes it's too much! It just doesn't click for some our difficult children.

    What is the game plan when difficult child comes home with a knife? Is there a crisis team you can call; can you call psychiatrist's office to report that difficult child is once again collecting knives?

    I'm sorry - I wish I had more to offer. Know that you & your family has the support of the entire board here. Many of us have been there done that - we know the pain, the stress, the feeling of hopelessness.

    Take care of yourself.
  4. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    Oh that is so scary. My difficult child was interested in the knives when he was 3 yrs old or so. From the first time I saw it, I put them out of reach. But he was a climber and sometimes would TRY and get at them. Well one time he came to me saying he was bleeding, and showed me his thumb. Yep, he cut it. I then hid the knives. Since then he hasn't been interested in them. Knock on wood. It must be awful for you, and so scary. I remember that feeling, and do not want it back. It's hard enough to make your home safe, but now to worry about the rest of world...geeze. I hope it get better.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'd recommend a call to the psychiatrist. Your difficult child doesn't sound stable.
  6. Kylesmylife

    Kylesmylife New Member

    Thank you so much for the feed back. It's nice to know there are others that understand. He is not stable at this time. We had just gone to the Dr's office yesterday and did some medication changes. He is cykling right now, as soon as I see any sign of it we do a few things to try and head it off. Some times it does not work. We are all on watch with him, He does nothing with out someone else. He is in a Day program right now that also has a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so he is under close watch and knows that he will be in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) if he gets to the point he hurt him self or soneone eles. Otherwise there is nothing else I can do right now. I have been telling all the people we work with what I see but no one has moved on it. I don't know right now, I see it coming but can't stop it. I think thats the hardest part for me. I can't make my baby happy....
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We have to keep our knives locked up but difficult child just doesn't get it. I'm sorry your difficult child is struggling so much right now. Hugs.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    People with Tourette's are often obsessed with knives and sharp objects. If this is obsession and morbid fascination, you have your work cut out for you. I don't see it as anything more sinister, but clearly it has the potential to be more sinister if other medical conditions are in the picture and become a problem.

    Is there any way you could help him channel this obsession? It will depend on what is it about knives that fascinates him. What about other tools? Working with tools? Could he work with a grinder, maybe, to cut keys or smooth metal? What if he took up metalwork as a hobby (under careful supervision)? It may be the metal he's attracted to, it may be able to be sublimated in some other way.

    Just locking up the knives - I know you need to do it, but all it's doing is reactive, not proactive. I'm not blaming you in any way, just trying to wrack my brains for you, because clearly just locking them up is not going to work long-term. All you're able to do right now is wrap him in cotton wool, but he's pulling it off as fast as you can wrap him up.

    difficult child 1 had a fascination with lighters and lighter fluid (as well as knives and various blades). All we could do was confiscate. But he was never as bad as this, which makes me think this is the Tourette's. I've seen it before, to this extent.

  9. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    I'm sorry for you. We had to lock up knives and lighters when my brother in law was living with us. He would cut and burn himself. It sounds like your difficult child is getting other people to get him knives. We had a problem like this with brother in law. He would go to school and come home with lighers. Several times husband made him turn out his pockets, but there is only so much you can do when they're teenagers. I was always afraid for him.
  10. Kylesmylife

    Kylesmylife New Member

    Good morning to all. Thanks again for your support. I think K likes what the knifes can do, as bad as that sounds. He is into cutting things when he gets one in his hands. I think the one he had the other day is from a place he had them b4 the last hospital stay. It is rusted and with all the snow you can tell it has been outside a long time. Not that it makes it better, I just know its not a new one he had.

    I like the idea of getting him into other tools or metels. That might be something he would like. I just don't know if the stress of letting him get into something that he can make things to cut with. Will have to think that one over....
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I was thinking, jewellery. Or even making chain mail - easy child 2/difficult child 2 is into that. I used to make pendants out of a piece of copper sheet. Maltese cross, a surfboard shape, that sort of thing. You cut the metal with a saw (I used tin snips for the Maltese crosses) then you file the edges smooth. You can enamel them or solder/glue other metal onto it. I made a Maltese cross for my then boyfriend, I glued a second four-pointed star onto the middle (I got the pieces from the star from the pieces I cut off the square to make the Maltese cross - draw one and you'll see what I mean. Copper is a good metal to begin with, it teaches good skills, is soft enough to work and isn't too expensive if he wrecks his designs by lack of skill. I used to use 18 g copper wire to make chains, rings and bracelets, and 16-18 g sheet to make pendants. A plumber's supply place gave me copper scrap that I bought by weight.

    Chain mail - you find a solid enough wire (we use a moderately light gauge of fencing wire, I can get the gauge off husband if you want) and wind it around a pipe of the right diameter, to make a tight, even coil. You then slide the coil off and cut it - either with a saw, or snips. Again, it helps if you file the cut edges to smooth them. You then link the circles to form the mail. You can adjust the pattern so you're not just making a flat sheet of mail, you're making a shaped garment (works like a knitting pattern) so you can make one of those helmet thingies, or a vest, or whatever. Single mail is best to begin with, it won't be so heavy to work or to wear. It also is useful in teaching medieval history and technology - you understand how the heirarchy of a knight's staff worked. The page would make the links and do the basic five ring link up, the squire would link the assemblies together and shape the piece and the knight would wear it. The page would repair it when it was damaged in battle. If the knight were killed, his squire inherited it all, along with the job.

    Knitting chain mail is a real conversation starter and is nicely repetitive for those in our family with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as part of their constellation of symptoms. The sight of a slim, pretty young redhead dressed in Goth clothing, carrying a large knitting bag from which she produced pliers and chain mail, is one to turn heads.

    There is info online as well.

    Good luck.