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The Watercooler
Found N's birthmother, but she doesn't want to talk (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 232074" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>I have no experience in this realm, but I am sorry you are suffering in silence for your daughter.</p><p> </p><p>If and when N decides to seek her out, what if she were to write an "open" letter to her birth mom, and you could perhaps forward it to her since you know where she is. At least it would give N a chance to get her feelings down on paper. It would open the door for her birth mom to respond, or not. Maybe just ask her some basic questions and hope she will honor the request with a brief reply? If it's that important to her, at least she could give it a try and see what happens. If she's disappointed by nothing happening, then maybe that's the time to find a good therapist who's dealt with adoptive kids and you go with her to tell her what you know and help her work through these feelings.</p><p> </p><p>For now, though, if she's happy and not dwelling on it, I'd just leave it be until she lets you know the time is right. And I'm sure she will. We can't shield our kids from every kind of heartbreak out there, but we can be there for them, love them, and do our best to help them make sense of the situation.</p><p> </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 232074, member: 3444"] I have no experience in this realm, but I am sorry you are suffering in silence for your daughter. If and when N decides to seek her out, what if she were to write an "open" letter to her birth mom, and you could perhaps forward it to her since you know where she is. At least it would give N a chance to get her feelings down on paper. It would open the door for her birth mom to respond, or not. Maybe just ask her some basic questions and hope she will honor the request with a brief reply? If it's that important to her, at least she could give it a try and see what happens. If she's disappointed by nothing happening, then maybe that's the time to find a good therapist who's dealt with adoptive kids and you go with her to tell her what you know and help her work through these feelings. For now, though, if she's happy and not dwelling on it, I'd just leave it be until she lets you know the time is right. And I'm sure she will. We can't shield our kids from every kind of heartbreak out there, but we can be there for them, love them, and do our best to help them make sense of the situation. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Found N's birthmother, but she doesn't want to talk (long)
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