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Found N's birthmother, but she doesn't want to talk (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 232121" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>in my humble opinion, this is about the fact that a bio-parent does not want in her life to emotionally support her at all or reassure her that it had nothing to do with anything being wrong with her (N.). I say that because I saw the same hurt in my son and he's not adopted. It isn't about being adopted, I don't think, I think it's just like my son's father not wanting to acknowledge or speak to him. I wish I (his ONE parent) could be enough for that not to hurt my son. So, I don't think it's that I'm not enough for my son or that you and huub aren't enough for N, I think it's that no one can reassure them that it was not rejection except for that very bio-parent that is not there.</p><p></p><p>It is a real shame that kids have to hurt like this and that a stinking bio-parent can not take an occassional 20 mins to let their bio-child know that they aren't there raising them because it's in the child's best interest but it doesn't mean the child is worth less- it means that everyone wanted the child to have the best opportunity (ie, love, nuture, attention, etc) possible. This kind of carp burns me so much.</p><p></p><p>You did the best you could MWM. I made the stupid mistake of calling difficult child's father with difficult child sitting right beside me when he was 6yo. I'll never forgive myself for that one- I should have realized by then that there really are people in this world that can turn their back on their own child, even when they aren't expected to raise or pay for the child. And in my humble opinion, this isn't about N's race either- CARP on that- if she loved the child, she wouldn't even think about the race issue. Love doesn't see skin color, in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>Admittedly, I have not read a single response here- I just read MWM's intial post and my temperature and blood pressure went up. People use the most ridiculous excuses sometimes to try to cover up the fact that they feel nothing in their heart for their own child-</p><p></p><p>If that mom had such a repulsion toward a particular race that she couldn't stand the thought of a person of that race being in her life, she wouldn't have been sleeping with the man.</p><p></p><p>PS This might be one of those angry post revealing my own issues and baggage- the anger is not directed at MWM or, certainly, not at any child- I hope that's obvious, but I'm not proof-reading right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 232121, member: 3699"] in my humble opinion, this is about the fact that a bio-parent does not want in her life to emotionally support her at all or reassure her that it had nothing to do with anything being wrong with her (N.). I say that because I saw the same hurt in my son and he's not adopted. It isn't about being adopted, I don't think, I think it's just like my son's father not wanting to acknowledge or speak to him. I wish I (his ONE parent) could be enough for that not to hurt my son. So, I don't think it's that I'm not enough for my son or that you and huub aren't enough for N, I think it's that no one can reassure them that it was not rejection except for that very bio-parent that is not there. It is a real shame that kids have to hurt like this and that a stinking bio-parent can not take an occassional 20 mins to let their bio-child know that they aren't there raising them because it's in the child's best interest but it doesn't mean the child is worth less- it means that everyone wanted the child to have the best opportunity (ie, love, nuture, attention, etc) possible. This kind of carp burns me so much. You did the best you could MWM. I made the stupid mistake of calling difficult child's father with difficult child sitting right beside me when he was 6yo. I'll never forgive myself for that one- I should have realized by then that there really are people in this world that can turn their back on their own child, even when they aren't expected to raise or pay for the child. And in my humble opinion, this isn't about N's race either- CARP on that- if she loved the child, she wouldn't even think about the race issue. Love doesn't see skin color, in my humble opinion. Admittedly, I have not read a single response here- I just read MWM's intial post and my temperature and blood pressure went up. People use the most ridiculous excuses sometimes to try to cover up the fact that they feel nothing in their heart for their own child- If that mom had such a repulsion toward a particular race that she couldn't stand the thought of a person of that race being in her life, she wouldn't have been sleeping with the man. PS This might be one of those angry post revealing my own issues and baggage- the anger is not directed at MWM or, certainly, not at any child- I hope that's obvious, but I'm not proof-reading right now. [/QUOTE]
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Found N's birthmother, but she doesn't want to talk (long)
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