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Parent Emeritus
Friends, I need your prayers and support again...
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<blockquote data-quote="tryagain" data-source="post: 629130" data-attributes="member: 14865"><p>Thank you Inadaze, Calamity Jane, Seeking Strength, and Cedar. It means a lot to know that four people really cared about all I've been posting about & reached out to me.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I have read over your words twice and you are so right.</p><p></p><p><em>Scent of Cedar posted:</em></p><p><em>Remember what you need to see to continue to help her, and do not bend on that.</em></p><p></p><p>Those words got me to thinking about what I need to "see". And I think I'm actually pretty clear on that point. The main thing I need to see is that she absolutely must take her medication.</p><p></p><p>While difficult child was living many hours away from us, she would not take her medication and was so miserable until finally she tried to commit suicide in February. Her survival was a major turning point for her.</p><p></p><p>She began taking her medicine and realized that she needed to make major changes. She moved home, basically reinvented herself, looked up old friends from happier times, got a job. Not perfect, but a huge improvement.</p><p></p><p>Unmedicated she can be violent and rebellious, unproductive and suicidal. Medicated she is friendly, radiant, determined, and loving. I wish that these differences could just be construed as black-and-white, daylight and dark. However, there is a gray area that creeps in dealing with trust issues.</p><p></p><p>Having been scammed in the past, I tend to be on guard and suspicious about things that sound far-fetched. However, lately, many of the far-fetched things turn out to be true. And what I am often thinking are lies, are actually difficult child's lifelong inability to explain things well and to include pertinent details. It's maddening sometimes...</p><p></p><p>Cedar, thank you for the wise words forcing me to self clarify what I will and will not accept. I must have truth. I must have trust. And above all, she must take her medication.</p><p></p><p>Have a good weekend, all, and thanks again for the prayers and thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryagain, post: 629130, member: 14865"] Thank you Inadaze, Calamity Jane, Seeking Strength, and Cedar. It means a lot to know that four people really cared about all I've been posting about & reached out to me. Cedar, I have read over your words twice and you are so right. [I]Scent of Cedar posted: Remember what you need to see to continue to help her, and do not bend on that.[/I] Those words got me to thinking about what I need to "see". And I think I'm actually pretty clear on that point. The main thing I need to see is that she absolutely must take her medication. While difficult child was living many hours away from us, she would not take her medication and was so miserable until finally she tried to commit suicide in February. Her survival was a major turning point for her. She began taking her medicine and realized that she needed to make major changes. She moved home, basically reinvented herself, looked up old friends from happier times, got a job. Not perfect, but a huge improvement. Unmedicated she can be violent and rebellious, unproductive and suicidal. Medicated she is friendly, radiant, determined, and loving. I wish that these differences could just be construed as black-and-white, daylight and dark. However, there is a gray area that creeps in dealing with trust issues. Having been scammed in the past, I tend to be on guard and suspicious about things that sound far-fetched. However, lately, many of the far-fetched things turn out to be true. And what I am often thinking are lies, are actually difficult child's lifelong inability to explain things well and to include pertinent details. It's maddening sometimes... Cedar, thank you for the wise words forcing me to self clarify what I will and will not accept. I must have truth. I must have trust. And above all, she must take her medication. Have a good weekend, all, and thanks again for the prayers and thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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