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General Parenting
From ADD and Depression to 51 50 to 52 50 to Conduct Disorder PLEASE HELP
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 335347" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It sounds to me like this young man has been through the wringer, in terms of the males in his life. I'm not saying you haven't - but this is from his point of view only.</p><p></p><p>In his world, nothing and nobody is permanent. As for the problems starting before his grandfather died - if someone is dying of cancer, the grieving begins early.</p><p></p><p>A lot of what could be going on with him, could be reactive. Psychiatrists could give it big labels and lump him in with someone who simply has turned out like your son but for very different reasons. It seems to me that the reasons are more important than tat, and need to be worked on actively, in fairly intense 1:1 therapy.</p><p></p><p>Clearly if he continues along the same antisocial path he is headed down, he will end up in jail. But is he choosing to be antisocial in order to stop himself getting close to anyone ever again? Or is this more disturbed than that?</p><p></p><p>I think the home-schooling decision was correct from one angle, but what it was doing, was forcing him to be close to you physically. From my own experience, the home-schooling has greatly increased the bond between me and difficult child 3. If in your son's mind this is dangerous for you or for him, he will be actively rejecting this increased connection to you and trying to sabotage it. Either he is afraid that the more he loves someone, the greater his chance of something bad happening to them, or perhaps it happens to everyone he gets close to so he doesn't want to ever get hurt again.</p><p></p><p>Either way - he needs fairly urgent counselling. I would suggest you all do.</p><p></p><p>It could at least be a good starting point.</p><p></p><p>Is there a youth grief counselling service you can get him into?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 335347, member: 1991"] It sounds to me like this young man has been through the wringer, in terms of the males in his life. I'm not saying you haven't - but this is from his point of view only. In his world, nothing and nobody is permanent. As for the problems starting before his grandfather died - if someone is dying of cancer, the grieving begins early. A lot of what could be going on with him, could be reactive. Psychiatrists could give it big labels and lump him in with someone who simply has turned out like your son but for very different reasons. It seems to me that the reasons are more important than tat, and need to be worked on actively, in fairly intense 1:1 therapy. Clearly if he continues along the same antisocial path he is headed down, he will end up in jail. But is he choosing to be antisocial in order to stop himself getting close to anyone ever again? Or is this more disturbed than that? I think the home-schooling decision was correct from one angle, but what it was doing, was forcing him to be close to you physically. From my own experience, the home-schooling has greatly increased the bond between me and difficult child 3. If in your son's mind this is dangerous for you or for him, he will be actively rejecting this increased connection to you and trying to sabotage it. Either he is afraid that the more he loves someone, the greater his chance of something bad happening to them, or perhaps it happens to everyone he gets close to so he doesn't want to ever get hurt again. Either way - he needs fairly urgent counselling. I would suggest you all do. It could at least be a good starting point. Is there a youth grief counselling service you can get him into? Marg [/QUOTE]
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From ADD and Depression to 51 50 to 52 50 to Conduct Disorder PLEASE HELP
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