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<blockquote data-quote="Nature" data-source="post: 739459" data-attributes="member: 19011"><p>Hi Nessie,</p><p></p><p>It is indeed a messed up world when we experience relief that our child is sentenced. My son was also incarcerated for 3 years. I understand the respite and relief it gave me. I finally knew where he was, would receive phone calls and letters, could enter my home without fear and start creating a resemblance of a normal life for myself. What was ironic was I too joined the land of the living again. I hadn't noticed until I started to socialize again as previously I feared having anyone over or going out as I looking back was the one on 24 hour lock down. Didn't want friends over as they would see first hand the destruction of my home or feared he'd show up when they were there and thus may place them in danger. I feared judgement.....the list goes on. </p><p>Then slowly I started doing things that gave me pleasure....at first there was guilt involved...how can I feel happy when my son is in jail? Eventually, I knew it my heart it was the best thing at the time. Yes, jail has it's own sorts of problems and please be careful how much money you send as sadly drugs do make it to jails for the right price. Overall it gives the addict a chance to recover and to mend broken relationships. I was able to finally talk to him via phone calls my perspective on his addiction whereas previously that was impossible. </p><p>Nessie, I understand it will be difficult for you as well....yes, you miss him. Your letters and phone calls will be important to him. He will understand you have been there for him and continue to love him. Perhaps in our messed up lives this will be the light at the end of the tunnel - he will eventually understand that his choices brought him there and you have always stood in the wings waiting his return to the son you once knew. I will be thinking of you and your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nature, post: 739459, member: 19011"] Hi Nessie, It is indeed a messed up world when we experience relief that our child is sentenced. My son was also incarcerated for 3 years. I understand the respite and relief it gave me. I finally knew where he was, would receive phone calls and letters, could enter my home without fear and start creating a resemblance of a normal life for myself. What was ironic was I too joined the land of the living again. I hadn't noticed until I started to socialize again as previously I feared having anyone over or going out as I looking back was the one on 24 hour lock down. Didn't want friends over as they would see first hand the destruction of my home or feared he'd show up when they were there and thus may place them in danger. I feared judgement.....the list goes on. Then slowly I started doing things that gave me pleasure....at first there was guilt involved...how can I feel happy when my son is in jail? Eventually, I knew it my heart it was the best thing at the time. Yes, jail has it's own sorts of problems and please be careful how much money you send as sadly drugs do make it to jails for the right price. Overall it gives the addict a chance to recover and to mend broken relationships. I was able to finally talk to him via phone calls my perspective on his addiction whereas previously that was impossible. Nessie, I understand it will be difficult for you as well....yes, you miss him. Your letters and phone calls will be important to him. He will understand you have been there for him and continue to love him. Perhaps in our messed up lives this will be the light at the end of the tunnel - he will eventually understand that his choices brought him there and you have always stood in the wings waiting his return to the son you once knew. I will be thinking of you and your son. [/QUOTE]
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