Gee Buddy, I'm so sorry about how you are feeling. You've been through so much. I understand about wanting to wait on the medications, I have some ideas for free/low cost therapy.
*Contact the counseling center at your alma mater, tell them that you are a alumnus who genuinely needs their help. If possible, pay a visit to the center and talk to the director of the counseling center.
*If you know someone who is seeing a therapist or you know of a good therapist, call them and ask them if they do sliding scale, if they do and they have a set price, ask if they are willing to negotiate a lower price, that you are in dire need and will be a great client. If all else fails, ask them if they know of another therapist who does sliding scale.
"Almost all hospitals, clinics, and community agencies charge according to a sliding scale. In other words, you may pay less than the full fee depending on your income, number of dependents, and so on.Dont make the mistake of thinking that sliding scales are only for the benefit of the very poor. In reality, most working-class and middle-class clients will also qualify for a reduced fee.You also may not realize that even many private therapists offer a sliding scale or reduced fee program for clients who could not otherwise afford therapy. Remember that it never hurts to ask.If you have serious financial difficulties, you may be provided services free of charge. If you cant track down these opportunities, contact your countys mental health or social services program."
*contact NAMI-National Alliance of Mental Illness and if they don't have what you want, a therapist or a group, ask for a referral.
Buddy, you deserve the exact same care and support as you would provide for Q, maybe more because he is in your care and you have to be at the top of your game for him.. I'm a BIG believer in those of us who provide so much care for these children require equal care for ourselves, it is a very tough job and as woman we are spring loaded to deplete ourselves in the service of others. Do not do this. Find a safe, nurturing place where you can go and vent, let go, just chat, get support, get advice, acknowledgement, tools, understanding, compassion, unconditional care and someone who you can develop a connection with who sees you and hears you and will take care of you. Find ways each day to tenderly care for yourself, get very, very good at self care, it will get you through this. Get your nails done, get a massage, buy yourself flowers, go to lunch with a girl friend and laugh, take a walk, be in nature, meditate, pray, whatever it takes to nourish you. You sound depleted to me and you need to nourish yourself, that balance of giving must be equal to receiving or you will burn yourself out.
You are a wonderful, caring, loving woman. You deserve to be well cared for. HUGS to you Buddy. Big HUGS...................
