Frustrated with the system!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by readergal8, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. readergal8

    readergal8 New Member

    Hi all, had meeting wih Dr. She is going to give me a referral I need. So that was good. No hassle. I then had my 3 week update with my son's teacher as well as principal of the school and director of services. We went over lhis behavior for the past three week. The principal's decision since she has seen no improvement is to advised me my son is going to get suspended for "a couple of days" if his behavior is deemed inapropriate enough. I stated "so you might as well expel him because obviously he is going to do something "bad" everyday. I asked for an IEP and she stated that the school psychiatric has stated he doesn't need one ( basically a no) I am still going to type up a request and send it to the school board. I then asked who is my childs advocate at the school level, she stated herself. God help him if that is the case. I think I will just go over her head. She actually had the nerve to say " and what are you doing to help " So basically me dropping him off and sitting in the pre-k parking lot for hrs doesn't count or the countless other things. I have more thought and details on the subject then I care to write right now. I am so glad to have found this site. Family just doesn't understand sometimes.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Send IEP request certified mail with signature required... proof of delivery including date.
    THAT forces evaluation and starts a legally-enforcable timeline.

    Get an outside advocate... you're going to need it.
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Has a full school evaluation been done? The school psychiatric alone doesn't decide whether an IEP is created or not. That's the IEP team's decision together after looking at assessment results and--if applicable--recommendations from private diagnosticians.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would take him for a private evaluation to a neuropsychologist as well for extra leverage.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    so you are saying a school psychiatric saw your child and just decided he didn't need an IEP? how the he77 would he be able to do that. That is not legal, ethical, possible, etc. There is no way for him to know what is going on with your child without an evaluaton. Many psychs think they know about every other specilaistis area of expertise because some of their tests touch a little on language, motor, memory, etc. They are not rehab specialists, they dont know about everything. That is why the law requires a child find committee. Everyone is required, after hearing about concerns to sit and say...well, this is how a disabiity in my area could be contributing to that issue so I better check it out, then the next person does that and on and on.... then they present the options to you and you agree or disagree with checking these things out. Honestly, I have never heard of that but I have met psychologists who thought they knew it all, that they were the leaders of teams (they are not, all are equal and obligated to say their piece) and they ahve tried to bully me out of doing my job. I never let that happen. As a mom I am experiencing it with my son too... so have felt it from both the Special Education side and the mommy side. ''

    You do what you want to do...for sure follow thru no matter what they say because it is clear they are either ignorant of this process or are trying to get out of it. IF they think that will work, ask them to show you ONE single research paper where that was shown to be an effective intervention for a child?? especially one with special needs! they wont be able to find one I promise, not a recent one...but maybe on their search they will find all the research that shows that it does not work and what they really should be doing.

    Make sure when you ask for the evaluation, that you want all areas of development assessed and a functional behavior analysis done to investigate the causes and ideas for support for each and every single behavior of concern.

    Get your warrior suit on.... you are gonna need it! is illegal to even observe a child for purposes of screeening even for special needs. If a child is casually observed when a staff is in a class doing a general class observation and happens to notice a child they can make a referral, not a decision. Parents must always give permission so if they are gonna try to say that his observations are counting for anything, and you did not give permission, then go after them.
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Send the letter specifically requesting that difficult child "be evaluated for special education services including psychological, behavioral, academic, Occupational Therapy and Speech-Language evaluations". Send it certified with RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED to the principal AND the special education director at difficult child's school. That way they EACH have to sign for their own copies. In the meantime, get difficult child evaluated by either a neuropych (preferable) or a Child psychiatrist or a PhD psychologist (either is probably quicker) SOON. GET AN ADVOCATE. You can call your state's dept of education for where to find one. Keep detailed notes with dates, names, quotes, etc. I really does sound like they're trying to railroad him and you. They don't want him there plain and simple so if you don't stick up for him and do outside stuff to back you up, no one else is going to and they will get what they want.

    Sending my OTHER set of spare armor your way. Sounds like I might need to send by spare rhino skin too. LOL I really understand where you're at. Another thought, would it be feasible to pull him out of pre-k until you get all the ammo you need so things are in place for kindergarten? I don't know, just a thought.
  7. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    i don't know what your doctor is like but my sons doctor called the school for me last year and told them that if they chose to continue kicking him out of school and move forward with their plan to expell him that not only would they be infringing on his right to an education but they would also be discriminating against him based on his special needs and that she would make sure that was not tolerated. :) maybe your doctor would be willing to do something similar? just because they are not yet diagnosed doesn't mean they should be discriminated against. They need to make exceptions. you are going to have to fight hard for him, don't let Them be his advocate, you be his advocate. make sure that you are invited to any and all meetings about him and make sure they know what you are doing to help. if they ask point out all the areas where you are going above and beyond what an average parent would need to do and point out any cases where you have gone out of your way or made sacrifice to work with them and be co-operative. another useful tool i have is the lawyer thing. i have not yet had to hire a lawyer, although i have consulted with one and gotten some ideas from my sister in law who is a disability lawyer. the main benefit i got from it came from informing the school that i had found a lawyer that was willing to represent difficult child and that i could not get some co-operation from them that he would step in at my request to take control. also, when it comes to dealing with the school it helps to have a diagnosis to hand them, so if the doctor you were refered to gives you one get a letter for the school, even if you don't agree with the diagnosis. that will force their hand with the iep. you can always seek out a second opinion later on if you need to.
    also, i just want to point out i think you are doing great by being there to support your son through this. i know from experience what a sacrifice it actual is to have to go to the school daily and attend with your child because the system is unwilling to provide them with the help they need. i spent half a day for the first year difficult child was in school sitting outside and had to do two months again this year. not fun. don't envy you but you are already going past what most parents would be willing to do just by being there every day.
  8. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Hi readergal8,
    Its frustrating when teachers/Dr's/family and even friends think we are doing nothing for our children, been there,still there! I'm glad you told her that, she needs to understand that some kids have different issues than others, and no matter where the child goes to school, the teachers have to be part of the "plan" to figure out how to help the child! Good luck, and just keep everything documented and you will have to keep making Appts with his Dr and get referrals for a psychiatric.