Each of my difficult children has physical health issues along with the mental ones. The combination can be really frustrating, when they don't take care of themselves.
Youngest had a seizure early Monday morning. Her boyfriend called me and I went over there, he couldn't stay with her since he had to leave for work. I stayed with her, got my grandson to daycare, then went to work once she seemed fairly stable. The after-effects lingered, however (mental confusion/fuzziness and difficulty talking), so I ended up leaving work and took her to the ER; spent 7 hours with her. Come to find out she is NOT taking her seizure medications as prescribed; only taking one pill a day instead of one twice a day. This is not new news, she did that often when she lived with me . She is blaming it on the cost of the medications, despite the fact both I and her boyfriend have told her we will pay for it until she gets approved for the uninsured coverage through the manufacturer (she currently has a card from one of the discount programs you seen on TV for uninsured folks, but the cost is still $300, which is a 50% discount). Anyway... ARGH. She has a seizure, I run to help because she can't physically take care of her son until after-effects subside. The fact she had a seizure due to her own irressponsibility, just ticks me off, and I feel quite resentful about helping her in those circumstances.
Oldest .. (warning, this one is more graphic) .. has an ileostomy, needs constant supplies of ostomy bags. She is also uninsured. She has found several sources of supplies for extremely reduced cost. I would help her pay for them, no problem. She continues her pattern, however, of waiting until she is almost OUT of supplies before ordering. A person with an ostomy can't live without the ostomy bags. When the seals wear out, they're done. So, in the past, I or her boyfriend have sometimes handed over the $75.00 or more to buy her a supply from a local pharmacy, when there is no time to mail-order the discounted ones. I mean, she HAS to have them. But she called the other day, once again, has ONE bag left. She doesn't have the money to buy them from the pharmacy. I didn't touch the bait. She didn't ask me to buy any, and I didn't offer. I just let her vent. She even admitted it was "stupid" to spend her money on a concert when she needed bags. But I do not get how you don't KNOW you are almost out of them? How do you ignore that? And how do you do it not once or twice, but over and over and over?
Detaching from health issues is completely different from other issues, for me. It's really hard, when you know your child's health is at stake. But, when they continue to undermine their health through their own actions or inaction, it's hard to feel much sympathy and very easy to feel extreme resentment over any helping at all. They both drag their feet about applying for aid, buying supplies filling prescriptions at the last minute. I refuse to step in and take over this stuff for them .. they're adults. They're not incapable of taking it over, they just don't want to be bothered.
So frustrating. No answers, really, I just needed to vent.
Thanks for reading!
Youngest had a seizure early Monday morning. Her boyfriend called me and I went over there, he couldn't stay with her since he had to leave for work. I stayed with her, got my grandson to daycare, then went to work once she seemed fairly stable. The after-effects lingered, however (mental confusion/fuzziness and difficulty talking), so I ended up leaving work and took her to the ER; spent 7 hours with her. Come to find out she is NOT taking her seizure medications as prescribed; only taking one pill a day instead of one twice a day. This is not new news, she did that often when she lived with me . She is blaming it on the cost of the medications, despite the fact both I and her boyfriend have told her we will pay for it until she gets approved for the uninsured coverage through the manufacturer (she currently has a card from one of the discount programs you seen on TV for uninsured folks, but the cost is still $300, which is a 50% discount). Anyway... ARGH. She has a seizure, I run to help because she can't physically take care of her son until after-effects subside. The fact she had a seizure due to her own irressponsibility, just ticks me off, and I feel quite resentful about helping her in those circumstances.
Oldest .. (warning, this one is more graphic) .. has an ileostomy, needs constant supplies of ostomy bags. She is also uninsured. She has found several sources of supplies for extremely reduced cost. I would help her pay for them, no problem. She continues her pattern, however, of waiting until she is almost OUT of supplies before ordering. A person with an ostomy can't live without the ostomy bags. When the seals wear out, they're done. So, in the past, I or her boyfriend have sometimes handed over the $75.00 or more to buy her a supply from a local pharmacy, when there is no time to mail-order the discounted ones. I mean, she HAS to have them. But she called the other day, once again, has ONE bag left. She doesn't have the money to buy them from the pharmacy. I didn't touch the bait. She didn't ask me to buy any, and I didn't offer. I just let her vent. She even admitted it was "stupid" to spend her money on a concert when she needed bags. But I do not get how you don't KNOW you are almost out of them? How do you ignore that? And how do you do it not once or twice, but over and over and over?
Detaching from health issues is completely different from other issues, for me. It's really hard, when you know your child's health is at stake. But, when they continue to undermine their health through their own actions or inaction, it's hard to feel much sympathy and very easy to feel extreme resentment over any helping at all. They both drag their feet about applying for aid, buying supplies filling prescriptions at the last minute. I refuse to step in and take over this stuff for them .. they're adults. They're not incapable of taking it over, they just don't want to be bothered.
So frustrating. No answers, really, I just needed to vent.
Thanks for reading!
