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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 254013" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Thank you all. I admit I sometimes get discouraged when I don't get many replies here, but I do recognize that my challenges are somewhat unique when it comes to the physical health vs. mental health issues with my daughters. But someday, I'll be gone and they'll need to figure all of this out for themselves. I do my best to push them into doing that now, but some days are harder than others. Also, the resentment I feel just builds up sometimes ... just when I'm getting my own life back, some "crisis" happens and I have to step in and help once again. (ok, I don't "have to," but I do). I just wish it was done. But it will never really be done, with my girls. </p><p></p><p>Oldest called back yesterday and asked if her boyfriend could borrow my car to go buy her supplies (his car has a flat tire and they can't afford a new tire, and chose to buy her supplies vs. the tire). I agreed, and he came to my office at lunch (they live within walking distance of my office) and got my keys, had it back within an hour. So, I helped without forking over any money, except the gas in my tank.</p><p></p><p>Youngest called last night as soon as she got off work and I was in the middle of a store. She had that little-girl voice on.. I asked how she was and she said she was "so exhausted." I asked if she'd made the follow-up appointment with the neurologist yet, and she said she'd lost the number and that her friend's boyfriend, who worked at the hospital, was getting it for her. Never mind she has an internet connection and could look it up herself. It's been 3 days since teh ER visit, she claims she doesn't feel better, and she hasn't gbothered to make a follow-up appointment? No, doesn't wash with me. I won't run to help her with grandson. I got angry, she told me to "stop yelling" at her (does anyone else's difficult child accuse them of "yelling" when they simply get angry, even without raising your voice?!) Miraculously, hours later, I called her back and she sounded quite "normal." I hate being manipulated, I really do.</p><p></p><p>I am just so sick of the stupid excuses, you know? How did I manage to raise two such "dependent" daughters when I am so INdependent myself, and rarely ask anyone for help? I feel like I do well at detachment, I rarely rescue except in times of absolute need, yet they're not learning? Or are they just not learning fast enough for me, because I want it all to happen now? There is certainly progress...I guess I'm just impatient. I'm sick of the life I spent taking care of everyone else but myself. I love my girls more than I can say, and I love my grandson, but I am just done. </p><p></p><p>Plus, I'm PMSing. And overdosed on Thin Mints and Samoas. </p><p></p><p>I guess I really need that vent... lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 254013, member: 1157"] Thank you all. I admit I sometimes get discouraged when I don't get many replies here, but I do recognize that my challenges are somewhat unique when it comes to the physical health vs. mental health issues with my daughters. But someday, I'll be gone and they'll need to figure all of this out for themselves. I do my best to push them into doing that now, but some days are harder than others. Also, the resentment I feel just builds up sometimes ... just when I'm getting my own life back, some "crisis" happens and I have to step in and help once again. (ok, I don't "have to," but I do). I just wish it was done. But it will never really be done, with my girls. Oldest called back yesterday and asked if her boyfriend could borrow my car to go buy her supplies (his car has a flat tire and they can't afford a new tire, and chose to buy her supplies vs. the tire). I agreed, and he came to my office at lunch (they live within walking distance of my office) and got my keys, had it back within an hour. So, I helped without forking over any money, except the gas in my tank. Youngest called last night as soon as she got off work and I was in the middle of a store. She had that little-girl voice on.. I asked how she was and she said she was "so exhausted." I asked if she'd made the follow-up appointment with the neurologist yet, and she said she'd lost the number and that her friend's boyfriend, who worked at the hospital, was getting it for her. Never mind she has an internet connection and could look it up herself. It's been 3 days since teh ER visit, she claims she doesn't feel better, and she hasn't gbothered to make a follow-up appointment? No, doesn't wash with me. I won't run to help her with grandson. I got angry, she told me to "stop yelling" at her (does anyone else's difficult child accuse them of "yelling" when they simply get angry, even without raising your voice?!) Miraculously, hours later, I called her back and she sounded quite "normal." I hate being manipulated, I really do. I am just so sick of the stupid excuses, you know? How did I manage to raise two such "dependent" daughters when I am so INdependent myself, and rarely ask anyone for help? I feel like I do well at detachment, I rarely rescue except in times of absolute need, yet they're not learning? Or are they just not learning fast enough for me, because I want it all to happen now? There is certainly progress...I guess I'm just impatient. I'm sick of the life I spent taking care of everyone else but myself. I love my girls more than I can say, and I love my grandson, but I am just done. Plus, I'm PMSing. And overdosed on Thin Mints and Samoas. I guess I really need that vent... lol [/QUOTE]
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