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<blockquote data-quote="WhyDoWeFallBruce?" data-source="post: 751430" data-attributes="member: 24405"><p>I sometimes find it hard to explain to others who ask, why letting my son go was the right thing to do. </p><p>For me. </p><p>What it actually was for him, is a question I will never find an answer to, unless he chooses to tell me, someday. I hope he will. </p><p>I get really frustrated when I am met with words like Egoist or selfish. </p><p>I get sick of debating with bystanders whether there is a right or wrong in this. </p><p>I try to tell people that self-preservation is key to being a good parent and an authentic role model. </p><p>That clear boundaries (and seeing them thru) are paramount to trusting one another.</p><p>I don´t say NO drugs in my house in order to save my son from doing them. I say it because I DO NOT want them here. </p><p>Had I known that he did them in his room, I would have tossed him out immediately. </p><p>He knew this and did them anyway. </p><p>I kept a special house journal while he was here, and wrote down all the bad things he did. I even showed it to him along the way. </p><p>It is a good thing to have now, when I get sad or if I should doubt my decision later on. </p><p>It reminds me of my own boundaries and why I set them. </p><p></p><p>Two days after he moved out, he called me and wanted to get together. Said his mom was mad at him and he just wanted to be around me. </p><p>I told him to square things with his mom and then I would gladly see him afterward. He didn´t call back.</p><p></p><p>I wasn´t surprised.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhyDoWeFallBruce?, post: 751430, member: 24405"] I sometimes find it hard to explain to others who ask, why letting my son go was the right thing to do. For me. What it actually was for him, is a question I will never find an answer to, unless he chooses to tell me, someday. I hope he will. I get really frustrated when I am met with words like Egoist or selfish. I get sick of debating with bystanders whether there is a right or wrong in this. I try to tell people that self-preservation is key to being a good parent and an authentic role model. That clear boundaries (and seeing them thru) are paramount to trusting one another. I don´t say NO drugs in my house in order to save my son from doing them. I say it because I DO NOT want them here. Had I known that he did them in his room, I would have tossed him out immediately. He knew this and did them anyway. I kept a special house journal while he was here, and wrote down all the bad things he did. I even showed it to him along the way. It is a good thing to have now, when I get sad or if I should doubt my decision later on. It reminds me of my own boundaries and why I set them. Two days after he moved out, he called me and wanted to get together. Said his mom was mad at him and he just wanted to be around me. I told him to square things with his mom and then I would gladly see him afterward. He didn´t call back. I wasn´t surprised. [/QUOTE]
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