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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751433" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>This is what I say.</p><p></p><p>"I would rather not talk about it. Its hard to explain anyways." This is even with family members. Nobody, not even beloved family, has gone to Al Anon and understands. They also.have not had a daughter like mine. I don't defend myself. They usually respect my boundary. My family is polite and understanding. We are lucky.</p><p></p><p>To more intrusive people I firmly answer "I am not going to discuss it. How is your new job?" I change the subject.</p><p></p><p>If somebody is rude enough to persist, I tell a white lie such as I have to go to an appointment, someone is at the door, etc. Endless possibilities. I avoid those who will not respect my boundaries.</p><p></p><p>People who truly love us show up and understand. The others didn't really care anyways and either wanted their chance to tell us what THEY would do, how unloving we are, or they are just nosey, which is worse. We do not need these people in our lives. I lost friends. I think we all have. Some had to lock out family members too.</p><p></p><p>When you go through hard times you see who your loved ones really are.</p><p></p><p>You don't owe anybody an explanation. I think you did the right thing regarding your son. My daughter ran off on her own or we would have made her leave. She is not allowed to visit under our roof. She is possibly dangerous, she steals, and brings drugs around and smokes in the house and I am allergic to smoke. So we do what we do.</p><p></p><p>God bless you and be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751433, member: 23706"] This is what I say. "I would rather not talk about it. Its hard to explain anyways." This is even with family members. Nobody, not even beloved family, has gone to Al Anon and understands. They also.have not had a daughter like mine. I don't defend myself. They usually respect my boundary. My family is polite and understanding. We are lucky. To more intrusive people I firmly answer "I am not going to discuss it. How is your new job?" I change the subject. If somebody is rude enough to persist, I tell a white lie such as I have to go to an appointment, someone is at the door, etc. Endless possibilities. I avoid those who will not respect my boundaries. People who truly love us show up and understand. The others didn't really care anyways and either wanted their chance to tell us what THEY would do, how unloving we are, or they are just nosey, which is worse. We do not need these people in our lives. I lost friends. I think we all have. Some had to lock out family members too. When you go through hard times you see who your loved ones really are. You don't owe anybody an explanation. I think you did the right thing regarding your son. My daughter ran off on her own or we would have made her leave. She is not allowed to visit under our roof. She is possibly dangerous, she steals, and brings drugs around and smokes in the house and I am allergic to smoke. So we do what we do. God bless you and be well. [/QUOTE]
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