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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 154066" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Sharon,</p><p></p><p>I totally understand how frustrating it is not being able to leave difficult child and easy child home alone together!!! To date, I can't leave either of my difficult children home alone. However, in the summer, when difficult children are at camp, etc, I can leave easy child home by herself. </p><p></p><p>This is one of the reasons I have exercise equipment in my basement. As you know, exercise is a major source of much needed stress relief for me too. While I truly believe it is a necessary part of life for you as well as for me, I don't think you're going to be able to leave your difficult child and easy child home alone together any more while you go to the health club. I know, it S*CKS!!!</p><p></p><p>I think you're going to have to find a way to make difficult child go with you and husband. I wish I had some great ideas on how to do this. If this were a problem in my house, I would make part of my difficult children "Reward Time" contingent on good behavior while waiting for me at the health club. In the beginning, I know this would be difficult as difficult children ALWAYS have "melt-downs" with any sort of change to their schedules. </p><p></p><p>I think you're on the right track in dangling some sort of carrot in front of your difficult child to get him to go to the health club without "melting." Now, you just need to figure out what kind of "carrot" will work.</p><p></p><p>As for your easy child, I definitely think she should be held accountable for her actions!!! Violence is not excusable under any circumstances!!! However, that being said, I can understand why she feels so much anger towards her brother.</p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion, I wouldn't make easy child go to the club too. I think she has a hard enough time dealing with her difficult child brother. I know my easy child has very mixed emotions about her difficult child brothers. She wrestles with these emotions all of the time. As a result, I try to give her as much space away from them as I can.</p><p></p><p>Since easy child enjoys staying home alone, I would let her have the time you, husband, and difficult child are at the health club to herself. Maybe if she has a bit more time to herself, she'll be better able to cope with her brother.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, all of the above is just MHO - Whatever you decide to do, I know it will be carefully thought out and will be the best decision for your family. I'm sorry you're going through so much garbage!!! Having difficult children definitely has a negative impact on daily life - What an understatement, lol!!! </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Keep us updated when you can. And, I'll be thinking of you...</p><p>And, I think, "You deserve a break today..." too, lol!!! I STILL CAN'T GET THE McD's jingle out of my head, lol... WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 154066, member: 3388"] Sharon, I totally understand how frustrating it is not being able to leave difficult child and easy child home alone together!!! To date, I can't leave either of my difficult children home alone. However, in the summer, when difficult children are at camp, etc, I can leave easy child home by herself. This is one of the reasons I have exercise equipment in my basement. As you know, exercise is a major source of much needed stress relief for me too. While I truly believe it is a necessary part of life for you as well as for me, I don't think you're going to be able to leave your difficult child and easy child home alone together any more while you go to the health club. I know, it S*CKS!!! I think you're going to have to find a way to make difficult child go with you and husband. I wish I had some great ideas on how to do this. If this were a problem in my house, I would make part of my difficult children "Reward Time" contingent on good behavior while waiting for me at the health club. In the beginning, I know this would be difficult as difficult children ALWAYS have "melt-downs" with any sort of change to their schedules. I think you're on the right track in dangling some sort of carrot in front of your difficult child to get him to go to the health club without "melting." Now, you just need to figure out what kind of "carrot" will work. As for your easy child, I definitely think she should be held accountable for her actions!!! Violence is not excusable under any circumstances!!! However, that being said, I can understand why she feels so much anger towards her brother. in my humble opinion, I wouldn't make easy child go to the club too. I think she has a hard enough time dealing with her difficult child brother. I know my easy child has very mixed emotions about her difficult child brothers. She wrestles with these emotions all of the time. As a result, I try to give her as much space away from them as I can. Since easy child enjoys staying home alone, I would let her have the time you, husband, and difficult child are at the health club to herself. Maybe if she has a bit more time to herself, she'll be better able to cope with her brother. Anyway, all of the above is just MHO - Whatever you decide to do, I know it will be carefully thought out and will be the best decision for your family. I'm sorry you're going through so much garbage!!! Having difficult children definitely has a negative impact on daily life - What an understatement, lol!!! Hang in there. Keep us updated when you can. And, I'll be thinking of you... And, I think, "You deserve a break today..." too, lol!!! I STILL CAN'T GET THE McD's jingle out of my head, lol... WFEN [/QUOTE]
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