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Full blown relapse
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 620270" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Coma I am so sorry. I can only imagine what kind of fear you are living with right now.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like he just doesn't want to change right now. He just wants to use right now and hang the outcome. </p><p></p><p>That is a nearly impossible situation for you to he in. </p><p></p><p>We all know that the person has to want it and even then it is so hard for them to change. </p><p></p><p>And of course you are terrified that he will try to kill himself since he has already tried that.</p><p></p><p>What should you do right now?</p><p>What can you do?</p><p></p><p>A plus---he is still at the school at least for today. </p><p></p><p>Can you rest in that knowledge today---just for today---and continue to work your own program of learning to let go of other people, places and things?</p><p></p><p>When the fear rises, let it come. Spend time sitting with it just sitting there silently. Or lying there. Cry. Cry for a while. Get in the car and drive and scream as loud as you can. Sleep. When you are ready and able pour it all out in writing here or just to yourself. </p><p></p><p>One time I say and typed as fast as I could for almost 20 minutes without stopping. It was four single spaces pages when I lifted my hands from the keyboard. I was sobbing the entire time.</p><p></p><p>That turned out to be a huge turning point for me and later when I read it out loud to my sponsor and sobbed through it all again, another turning point. </p><p></p><p>This is the stuff of deep fear, grief and suffering. </p><p></p><p>And of such love for another person, our precious children as we watch, powerless, over the decisions to self destruct. </p><p></p><p>I am concerned about YOU. He is going to do what he is going to do.</p><p></p><p>stay with yourself today and do at least one kind nurturing thing for yourself. And if you can, one kind thing for someone else. </p><p></p><p>Prayers for you and your whole family today, coma. We are standing with you.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 620270, member: 17542"] Coma I am so sorry. I can only imagine what kind of fear you are living with right now. It sounds like he just doesn't want to change right now. He just wants to use right now and hang the outcome. That is a nearly impossible situation for you to he in. We all know that the person has to want it and even then it is so hard for them to change. And of course you are terrified that he will try to kill himself since he has already tried that. What should you do right now? What can you do? A plus---he is still at the school at least for today. Can you rest in that knowledge today---just for today---and continue to work your own program of learning to let go of other people, places and things? When the fear rises, let it come. Spend time sitting with it just sitting there silently. Or lying there. Cry. Cry for a while. Get in the car and drive and scream as loud as you can. Sleep. When you are ready and able pour it all out in writing here or just to yourself. One time I say and typed as fast as I could for almost 20 minutes without stopping. It was four single spaces pages when I lifted my hands from the keyboard. I was sobbing the entire time. That turned out to be a huge turning point for me and later when I read it out loud to my sponsor and sobbed through it all again, another turning point. This is the stuff of deep fear, grief and suffering. And of such love for another person, our precious children as we watch, powerless, over the decisions to self destruct. I am concerned about YOU. He is going to do what he is going to do. stay with yourself today and do at least one kind nurturing thing for yourself. And if you can, one kind thing for someone else. Prayers for you and your whole family today, coma. We are standing with you. Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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