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Fuming! Yes another mother in law vent!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 215248" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Toto, </p><p> </p><p>This is a really really tough situation. I think you may just have to treat mother in law's crying and refusal to get it the way you would set a boundary with one of your kids. mother in law way overstimulated them so the next few times she wants to see them she will have to be supervised and stay within YOUR limits.</p><p> </p><p>Explain it simply and non-judgementally. Just say that last time was too much for the girls, they are dealing with a lot and simply can't do X or Y. But mother in law is welcome to come visit them at your home or you will bring them over when the girls are healthy enough to handle a visit.</p><p> </p><p>I had to do a LOT of this with my mother in law. She simply would not see reason, or that basic things simply took precedence over completing a task. For example, the ONLY time I left her with Wiz while I did something it was for a very short time about an hour). I arrived home at the same time my mom popped in to drop something off. (mother in law's visit was a surprise and my mom's visit was planned, otherwise my mom would have let mother in law enjoy Wiz with-o her because mother in law didn't visit often.)</p><p> </p><p>What I found when I came home was a child screaming his head off in his walker. They were outside and mother in law was planting flowers. Wiz had a dirty diaper and wanted to be changed. He had been sitting in it for at least 30 mins and had his very first diaper rash - and it was BAD! Both my mom and I were furious.</p><p> </p><p>mother in law kept insisting he was fine, that the blisters from the diaper were normal and that I just "spoiled" him by changing him right away. That flabbergasted me!</p><p> </p><p>The next time she wanted to see him I simply said that we have different rules and she would need to have me there while she visited. (husband just ignores her, and wouldn't stop her from anything, mostly because he can't stand her.) </p><p> </p><p>Over the years she has just been horrid to the kids, and to me. So she is supervised if she wants to see anyone. </p><p> </p><p>Frankly, I think you will have to do this, and wear extra rhino skin armor so you can do what the girls need whether mother in law likes it or has fun with it or not. Hopefully soon she can "get with the program". If you read any of hte Love and Logic books, some of those techniques can work with adults as well as kids. They do with my dad. If you want to check out hte website it is <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs, I know this is so tough. Maybe husband can have a talk with his father about this, and esp explain it has nothing to do with the business?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 215248, member: 1233"] Toto, This is a really really tough situation. I think you may just have to treat mother in law's crying and refusal to get it the way you would set a boundary with one of your kids. mother in law way overstimulated them so the next few times she wants to see them she will have to be supervised and stay within YOUR limits. Explain it simply and non-judgementally. Just say that last time was too much for the girls, they are dealing with a lot and simply can't do X or Y. But mother in law is welcome to come visit them at your home or you will bring them over when the girls are healthy enough to handle a visit. I had to do a LOT of this with my mother in law. She simply would not see reason, or that basic things simply took precedence over completing a task. For example, the ONLY time I left her with Wiz while I did something it was for a very short time about an hour). I arrived home at the same time my mom popped in to drop something off. (mother in law's visit was a surprise and my mom's visit was planned, otherwise my mom would have let mother in law enjoy Wiz with-o her because mother in law didn't visit often.) What I found when I came home was a child screaming his head off in his walker. They were outside and mother in law was planting flowers. Wiz had a dirty diaper and wanted to be changed. He had been sitting in it for at least 30 mins and had his very first diaper rash - and it was BAD! Both my mom and I were furious. mother in law kept insisting he was fine, that the blisters from the diaper were normal and that I just "spoiled" him by changing him right away. That flabbergasted me! The next time she wanted to see him I simply said that we have different rules and she would need to have me there while she visited. (husband just ignores her, and wouldn't stop her from anything, mostly because he can't stand her.) Over the years she has just been horrid to the kids, and to me. So she is supervised if she wants to see anyone. Frankly, I think you will have to do this, and wear extra rhino skin armor so you can do what the girls need whether mother in law likes it or has fun with it or not. Hopefully soon she can "get with the program". If you read any of hte Love and Logic books, some of those techniques can work with adults as well as kids. They do with my dad. If you want to check out hte website it is [URL="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]www.loveandlogic.com[/URL]. Hugs, I know this is so tough. Maybe husband can have a talk with his father about this, and esp explain it has nothing to do with the business? [/QUOTE]
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