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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 652929" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, I have learned tons about me from you and our little "sessions." I love how we can learn from one another.</p><p></p><p>Obviously, I am not going to continue going into detail here. I can be so naive at times. It never occured to me that Sis would care enough to read what I wrote. Every time I think she is "better" than me, she proves she is not. She is human, like me, and does the same good/bad/neutral things I do. And, yes, it is easy for both of my sibs to label me the problem.</p><p></p><p>To me, the problem mainly was my mother and her shadow endures over time. Sis said I like to play the victim. I never did LIKE it. But, the fact is, I was often a victim. So was she. We all were. Mom did nobody any good raising Bro to the highest heights when he was just human. In fact, he must have known since he moved so far away (which has been a blessing for me. Distance is so helpful when you do not connect with your DNA).</p><p></p><p>My father knows he is the other scapegoat. He knows he was blamed for the divorce, for his temper, for everything. But I explained to him...I was on his side. I always tended to see his point of view, from early childhood on. I always saw Mother as having a malicious, biting, humiliating temper, which is worse to me than yelling. That's how I see it anyway. Oh, there were times I switched sides early on...Mother can be covincing. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY I have ever met can lie against a person better than her. Nobody, nobody, nobody. So I bought some of the stuff about Dad, then I rethought it hard and went back to thinking she is far worse than he ever was. She enjoyed "divide and conquer." She could be VERY VERY mean. And she never felt she was wrong, of course. She was the leader and enabler of our dysfunctional group. It was fated that Sis and I would not get along. She set it up for failure and Sis believed my mother's version of everything, which mean she thinks I'm awful. As I get to see the real person sis is more and more, I almost pity her. She has a lot of people in her life, and she has nobody who really cares, including my brother who has a very busy life of his own that doesn't include her.</p><p></p><p>I did care. I can't anymore. </p><p></p><p>Now Dad has some money that SIs wants. She will never call out Dad on a nything she finds as she wants that money. Bad.</p><p></p><p>And the truth is, Dad is not like Mother. He would never disinherit one of his children. He is not perfect, nor am I. We do have hearts.</p><p></p><p>I think she still lurks, so I will leave it at that.</p><p></p><p>by the way, Amtrak sucks. I may post about that <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 652929, member: 1550"] Cedar, I have learned tons about me from you and our little "sessions." I love how we can learn from one another. Obviously, I am not going to continue going into detail here. I can be so naive at times. It never occured to me that Sis would care enough to read what I wrote. Every time I think she is "better" than me, she proves she is not. She is human, like me, and does the same good/bad/neutral things I do. And, yes, it is easy for both of my sibs to label me the problem. To me, the problem mainly was my mother and her shadow endures over time. Sis said I like to play the victim. I never did LIKE it. But, the fact is, I was often a victim. So was she. We all were. Mom did nobody any good raising Bro to the highest heights when he was just human. In fact, he must have known since he moved so far away (which has been a blessing for me. Distance is so helpful when you do not connect with your DNA). My father knows he is the other scapegoat. He knows he was blamed for the divorce, for his temper, for everything. But I explained to him...I was on his side. I always tended to see his point of view, from early childhood on. I always saw Mother as having a malicious, biting, humiliating temper, which is worse to me than yelling. That's how I see it anyway. Oh, there were times I switched sides early on...Mother can be covincing. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY I have ever met can lie against a person better than her. Nobody, nobody, nobody. So I bought some of the stuff about Dad, then I rethought it hard and went back to thinking she is far worse than he ever was. She enjoyed "divide and conquer." She could be VERY VERY mean. And she never felt she was wrong, of course. She was the leader and enabler of our dysfunctional group. It was fated that Sis and I would not get along. She set it up for failure and Sis believed my mother's version of everything, which mean she thinks I'm awful. As I get to see the real person sis is more and more, I almost pity her. She has a lot of people in her life, and she has nobody who really cares, including my brother who has a very busy life of his own that doesn't include her. I did care. I can't anymore. Now Dad has some money that SIs wants. She will never call out Dad on a nything she finds as she wants that money. Bad. And the truth is, Dad is not like Mother. He would never disinherit one of his children. He is not perfect, nor am I. We do have hearts. I think she still lurks, so I will leave it at that. by the way, Amtrak sucks. I may post about that :) [/QUOTE]
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