"I don't see an issue with it. I myself would much rather visit the place of burial a day or two later to pay my respects on my own. I really don't like being around groups of people during really emotional times." (from another site) I am seriously considering not attending my father's funeral when he passes (and have told him) and to bring MY family to his graveside the next day to talk to him and tell him I love him, which he knows. Now, before the event, I am seeking opinions. This is how my mind works. In the "Should Go" category: It is socially acceptable to go and not socially acceptable not to DNA collection will judge me worse than they already do. Others will mistakenly think I don't care. Maybe I'll regret this one day. On the "Should Not Go" side I never did care what is socially acceptable. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. THey are so you can console one another and I have nobody to console other than my family, who will be with me regardless of what I de Close DNA members (all two of them) already judge me poorly (Bro? Sis?) The funeral will likely not be the type of Jewish funeral my father wanted anyway, along with sitting shiva. I don't know for sure. My father put bro in charge of everything. Sis made us have an open casket for Mother and I did go, but I don't want to remember Dad in an open casket. He is so full of life. I strongly believe that seeing Sis and Bro will distract me from the real reason I'm there and cause myself and my family to feel resentment and other negative feelings...that is not what a funeral is about. On the selfish side: I don't ever want to lay eyes on Bro or Sis again. The past is the past. Also, I strongly believe that we live on after earth death and that I will have a nice chat with Dad later on. I have a psychic medium who is very accurate and whom I trust very much. I want to make this firm decision before it happens. Last night, he sounded so out of breath and I got off the phone with tears in my eyes. Would I be horrible if I didn't go? I believe he WILL know because I don't believe our spirit dies. However, I also believe he will know why I'm not there. Plus we will be at graveside to celebrate his life just as soon as the hoopla is over and as soon as Sis and Bro are back doing whatever it is they plan to do. Luckily bro lives out of town. Thoughts?