Funny Christmas Song

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I just heard this on the radio: I am a great Ray Stevens fan and maybe you've heard this before but I think it is a hoot in spite of the fact that some of it hits a little close to home.
    We got a Xerox Christmas letter
    from the Sterling family,
    Seems things in Palm Springs
    are going swimmingly.
    Their daughters both married doctors,
    their son was Yale's Man of the Year,
    Chip's business broke all records,
    Buffy's a Red Cross volunteer.

    We've been on their Xerox letter list
    for twenty years or more,
    It's been that long, at least,
    since the Sterlings lived next door.
    But this year my wife, Lurleen, said,
    as we were sweeping up the yard,
    "Let's us send a Xerox letter this year,
    instead of a Christmas card!"

    Howdy, y'all and Merry Christmas!

    Well, we still live in the double-wide,
    but Bubba's added on,
    A bass-boat shed and a workshop,
    and new flamingoes for the lawn,
    We took down the front yard tire swing,
    now that Junior's in the pen,
    But it looks like a happy new year:
    they moved him off death row again!

    Xerox Christmas letters --
    Oh, nothing could be better
    Than to hear from folks you hardly know,
    Bragging on all they have achieved.
    Xerox Christmas letters --
    Yeah, nothing we like better:
    We read them from the glow
    of our 2-foot aluminum tree.

    Our youngest is at the halfway house,
    once again in the family way,
    This time the daddy lives beneath the bridge
    on the old I-5 freeway.
    And this year we all took a whirlwind tour,
    but we didn't get too far:
    It happened when a twister touched down
    in our trailer park.

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    THAT is EXACTLY what I would print out and send to my high school friend - haven't seen her in 20(smrish) years and in the mail Friday I got a 2 page green ink with red holiday imprints about how horrible their life had been until they met (dat dah dah dahhhhhhh) the pastor and his wife of the church that they are on fire about.

    The rest of the letter was a bible lesson, comparing her life to everyone else in a way that we are all going to crash and burn in hell if we don't do what they did.

    That's Christmas Spirit for ya.