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Gaslighting
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748874" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis of "narcissist," but I do agree with RN in this: </p><p> To me, everything Kay is doing seems to be a means to feel control over herself and in her life. She seems to have this narrow channel on which she is able to engage, with a hyper-focus on illness and vaccinations, and this is the way she structures her thinking, feeling and behavior. She seems to have no flexibility or tolerance at all, beyond this very narrow focus. That is why she goes berserk when you try to engage her outside of it, or challenge her beliefs. This is where she loses control. I don't think this is a choice on her part. She needs that structure. She almost seems to dissolve without it. That is why I believe this is not personal on her part, against you. She would do it to any mother. But of course I realize that this does not make it all easier to bear for you.</p><p></p><p>My son is similar in that he is focused on his spiritual ideas that to me seem odd. Before that it was conspiracy theories such as Reptilians and Illuminati. Lots of apocalyptic stuff (It all drives me nuts.) I have refused to engage him on this, and will not speak about it. I do understand.</p><p></p><p>I have trouble with it not primarily because he is mean but because it is so weird, and because it makes me afraid because I have to confront how limited he may be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748874, member: 18958"] I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis of "narcissist," but I do agree with RN in this: To me, everything Kay is doing seems to be a means to feel control over herself and in her life. She seems to have this narrow channel on which she is able to engage, with a hyper-focus on illness and vaccinations, and this is the way she structures her thinking, feeling and behavior. She seems to have no flexibility or tolerance at all, beyond this very narrow focus. That is why she goes berserk when you try to engage her outside of it, or challenge her beliefs. This is where she loses control. I don't think this is a choice on her part. She needs that structure. She almost seems to dissolve without it. That is why I believe this is not personal on her part, against you. She would do it to any mother. But of course I realize that this does not make it all easier to bear for you. My son is similar in that he is focused on his spiritual ideas that to me seem odd. Before that it was conspiracy theories such as Reptilians and Illuminati. Lots of apocalyptic stuff (It all drives me nuts.) I have refused to engage him on this, and will not speak about it. I do understand. I have trouble with it not primarily because he is mean but because it is so weird, and because it makes me afraid because I have to confront how limited he may be. [/QUOTE]
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