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gave easy child the rule breakdown; apparently she's agreeing
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 435813" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad you are sticking to the rules and the emphasis on not creating stress in your home. I am sure that asking for medications, etc... was to get you to agree to let her come back. It is hard to support yourself and she is likely completely scared. The other mom is likely letting her know that she is expected to do certain things and pay for things if she wants them and it is NOT what she thought it would be. Plus everyone, no matter how mcuh of a slacker they are, has their quirks and things they cannot or will not tolerate and things they insist on and entering a new family at an age when you have spent almost 2 decades with other people's quirks and can't tolerate things is a huge adjustment. I still remember how annoying my first roommate and I found each other's habits in certain areas. Neither of us could really understand at first why the other was doing those things. </p><p></p><p>I am sure that difficult child is thinking that she will move back in and you will allow her to do what she wants. Your refusal to let her move in after her refusal to help you by watching difficult child for a while is, I am sure, quite the culture shock. Esp as you have said to pay for her own medications and therapy. Those were the things she was holding out as a carrot to get YOU to do what she wanted (support her and let her do what she wanted and be disrespectful.) .</p><p></p><p>This is going to take time, but in ten years you will likely talk and laugh about it, and she will wonder why she didn't see how smart you are when she was 18. </p><p></p><p>I think telling her to pay for the medications nad therapy herself was a wise move. I am really proud of you for not jumping in and moving her home right away. I think it is in some ways very hard for you because you are her mommy and in your mommy heart you want her safe and snug at home where you can know that she is okay. But you did what your head said was best for her and for the rest of you, and that is often the hardest thing to do. (((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 435813, member: 1233"] I am glad you are sticking to the rules and the emphasis on not creating stress in your home. I am sure that asking for medications, etc... was to get you to agree to let her come back. It is hard to support yourself and she is likely completely scared. The other mom is likely letting her know that she is expected to do certain things and pay for things if she wants them and it is NOT what she thought it would be. Plus everyone, no matter how mcuh of a slacker they are, has their quirks and things they cannot or will not tolerate and things they insist on and entering a new family at an age when you have spent almost 2 decades with other people's quirks and can't tolerate things is a huge adjustment. I still remember how annoying my first roommate and I found each other's habits in certain areas. Neither of us could really understand at first why the other was doing those things. I am sure that difficult child is thinking that she will move back in and you will allow her to do what she wants. Your refusal to let her move in after her refusal to help you by watching difficult child for a while is, I am sure, quite the culture shock. Esp as you have said to pay for her own medications and therapy. Those were the things she was holding out as a carrot to get YOU to do what she wanted (support her and let her do what she wanted and be disrespectful.) . This is going to take time, but in ten years you will likely talk and laugh about it, and she will wonder why she didn't see how smart you are when she was 18. I think telling her to pay for the medications nad therapy herself was a wise move. I am really proud of you for not jumping in and moving her home right away. I think it is in some ways very hard for you because you are her mommy and in your mommy heart you want her safe and snug at home where you can know that she is okay. But you did what your head said was best for her and for the rest of you, and that is often the hardest thing to do. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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gave easy child the rule breakdown; apparently she's agreeing
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