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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 340574" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>{{{Hugs}}}</p><p> </p><p>Have your pity party tonight, Shari, you deserve it. But you need to get back in the saddle again tomorrow. The fact is that this <strong>is </strong>Wee's life and childhood and he needs to make the most of it. Whether that's in school, organized activities or running around the house barefoot or climbing trees. Fair doesn't enter into the equation.</p><p> </p><p>Duckie likes to complain about life not being fair: she's sickly, has rules, isn't wealthy, etc. You get the picture... So now I try to gently point out how the equation is in her favor: she might be sickly but she has access to medical care that lets her pursue all or most of her interests all or most of the time; that's not true for the majority of sickly people in the world. She may have rules to follow but she also is slowly (and boy, do I mean slowly) learning to be disciplined and regulate herself; too many kids today are left to whither on the vine with little direction or guidance. She may not be wealthy but her needs are met <strong>and</strong> she is learning to value hard work and stewardship.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think that feeling bad for our kids too often is good for them or for us. It's too easy to get stuck in that rut and can stop us from being the best parent possible. I'm not posting this to minimize your feelings, they are valid and something we all feel. But if feeling badly for our kids would change things then we'd all have easy child's. I know that, with Duckie, it's been important to accept that she will most likely always be a difficult child and come up with strategies to help her not lose too much ground with her peers. It's our reality and it's easier to accept that and move forward rather than allow myself to spend too much time feeling badly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 340574, member: 1722"] {{{Hugs}}} Have your pity party tonight, Shari, you deserve it. But you need to get back in the saddle again tomorrow. The fact is that this [B]is [/B]Wee's life and childhood and he needs to make the most of it. Whether that's in school, organized activities or running around the house barefoot or climbing trees. Fair doesn't enter into the equation. Duckie likes to complain about life not being fair: she's sickly, has rules, isn't wealthy, etc. You get the picture... So now I try to gently point out how the equation is in her favor: she might be sickly but she has access to medical care that lets her pursue all or most of her interests all or most of the time; that's not true for the majority of sickly people in the world. She may have rules to follow but she also is slowly (and boy, do I mean slowly) learning to be disciplined and regulate herself; too many kids today are left to whither on the vine with little direction or guidance. She may not be wealthy but her needs are met [B]and[/B] she is learning to value hard work and stewardship. I don't think that feeling bad for our kids too often is good for them or for us. It's too easy to get stuck in that rut and can stop us from being the best parent possible. I'm not posting this to minimize your feelings, they are valid and something we all feel. But if feeling badly for our kids would change things then we'd all have easy child's. I know that, with Duckie, it's been important to accept that she will most likely always be a difficult child and come up with strategies to help her not lose too much ground with her peers. It's our reality and it's easier to accept that and move forward rather than allow myself to spend too much time feeling badly. [/QUOTE]
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