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The Watercooler
General update on the difficult child's/easy child's, H, mother in law
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 514929" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Great update! I am glad you are doing well with your recovery. </p><p></p><p>difficult child sounds super enthusiastic about the wedding, and maybe a book on how to plan a wedding with the timetables and etiquette would be a good thing? I think they have those out there. A friend used one that helped you keep things organized and reminded you of roughly when things needed to happen. It was part book and part organizer where you went to the end and put your wedding date there and then worked backward to put in the dates for when things shoudl happen. That took us about an hour to do, then she worked forward and it would remind her to send save the date cards and send invitations and hire caterer, etc.....</p><p></p><p>I think difficult children need more help to remember to do the social niceties and etiquette things and if mom is the one who tells them about those things then they get their backs up. So maybe give her a wedding planning book and let it tell her how and when to ask people things. Maybe you could go pick out the book together and get a copy for each of you? You could say you want that because it seems the etiquette has changed since you married so you want a guide so that you don't end up really insulting someone by accident. </p><p></p><p>As for easy child and difficult child, maybe a very gentle hint to difficult child that she still has to ASK her sister, but maybe nto that. I dont' know if that would make it worse or not. You shouldn't be in the middle of that. they are adults and need to talk to each other when they are upset with each other. At 22 and 24 they are not kids or teens anymore. They need to start handling this like adults and that means not running to mommy. It also means mom has to tell them to talk to each other and mom ahs to listen but not step in. it is HARD to be the parent when the kids are that age!!! WHen they were younger you cuold referee more, of course you had to referee more then, but still.</p><p></p><p>It is good to hear that easy child is seeing someone new who has "the one" potential, and that Caspar is not front and center anymore. I hope the new guy is as great as he seems and that she finds happiness no matter who is in her life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 514929, member: 1233"] Great update! I am glad you are doing well with your recovery. difficult child sounds super enthusiastic about the wedding, and maybe a book on how to plan a wedding with the timetables and etiquette would be a good thing? I think they have those out there. A friend used one that helped you keep things organized and reminded you of roughly when things needed to happen. It was part book and part organizer where you went to the end and put your wedding date there and then worked backward to put in the dates for when things shoudl happen. That took us about an hour to do, then she worked forward and it would remind her to send save the date cards and send invitations and hire caterer, etc..... I think difficult children need more help to remember to do the social niceties and etiquette things and if mom is the one who tells them about those things then they get their backs up. So maybe give her a wedding planning book and let it tell her how and when to ask people things. Maybe you could go pick out the book together and get a copy for each of you? You could say you want that because it seems the etiquette has changed since you married so you want a guide so that you don't end up really insulting someone by accident. As for easy child and difficult child, maybe a very gentle hint to difficult child that she still has to ASK her sister, but maybe nto that. I dont' know if that would make it worse or not. You shouldn't be in the middle of that. they are adults and need to talk to each other when they are upset with each other. At 22 and 24 they are not kids or teens anymore. They need to start handling this like adults and that means not running to mommy. It also means mom has to tell them to talk to each other and mom ahs to listen but not step in. it is HARD to be the parent when the kids are that age!!! WHen they were younger you cuold referee more, of course you had to referee more then, but still. It is good to hear that easy child is seeing someone new who has "the one" potential, and that Caspar is not front and center anymore. I hope the new guy is as great as he seems and that she finds happiness no matter who is in her life. [/QUOTE]
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General update on the difficult child's/easy child's, H, mother in law
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