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<blockquote data-quote="ML" data-source="post: 336164"><p>I just have to say that sometimes online forums are so inadequate in terms of expressing our sincerest of intentions. A short story: A couple years ago I found the greatest online support for one of my issues (husband's alcoholism at the time he was drinking) and was so happy to find a new home where I was making friends. Well one of the gals was being hard on herself in a post and I responded to it. Said all the things I would have wanted to hear in a similar situation and added one line that was misunderstood. I said "and it upsets me to see you being so hard on my good friend". I was talking about her being hard on herself of course. Well she got all upset and wrote back "who have I been mean to, what are you talking about, etc. She was even threatening to leave the board because it upset her so much. Well she got the moderator to see it her way and I was scolded and a few others tried to explain what my intentions were but it was too late, the damage was done. I wound up leaving because I was the new kid on the block. It really hurt *me* that I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt. Anyone that knew me would have understood what I meant. But my mistake was realizing they really didn't know me and that I needed to be clearer with my intentions. Lesson learned. The only reason I bring it up is that I see two things clearly here. One, DDD has the purest and most loving of intentions and two, KLMNO is in a lot of pain and perhaps needed a bit more clarity of intention.</p><p></p><p>Forgive me if I overstepped. I just value you both of you and want don't want to see misunderstandings break up family.</p><p></p><p>Love,</p><p>ML</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ML, post: 336164"] I just have to say that sometimes online forums are so inadequate in terms of expressing our sincerest of intentions. A short story: A couple years ago I found the greatest online support for one of my issues (husband's alcoholism at the time he was drinking) and was so happy to find a new home where I was making friends. Well one of the gals was being hard on herself in a post and I responded to it. Said all the things I would have wanted to hear in a similar situation and added one line that was misunderstood. I said "and it upsets me to see you being so hard on my good friend". I was talking about her being hard on herself of course. Well she got all upset and wrote back "who have I been mean to, what are you talking about, etc. She was even threatening to leave the board because it upset her so much. Well she got the moderator to see it her way and I was scolded and a few others tried to explain what my intentions were but it was too late, the damage was done. I wound up leaving because I was the new kid on the block. It really hurt *me* that I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt. Anyone that knew me would have understood what I meant. But my mistake was realizing they really didn't know me and that I needed to be clearer with my intentions. Lesson learned. The only reason I bring it up is that I see two things clearly here. One, DDD has the purest and most loving of intentions and two, KLMNO is in a lot of pain and perhaps needed a bit more clarity of intention. Forgive me if I overstepped. I just value you both of you and want don't want to see misunderstandings break up family. Love, ML [/QUOTE]
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