You and husband need to be on the same page. And if your son has completed college, he is of age and of means, to be much more independent. And no way should he treat you with disrespect. We helped our son briefly when he got out of college and before he found a job. If there are extenuating circumstances here, maybe you might be willing to help your son in some minor way financially TEMPORARILY. It is hard just getting started. But that needs to be clear (minor and temporarily) and in my humble opinion, all bets are OFF if he is disrespectful. That has to stop like yesterday. Yes, I would insist on this.
